Monday, February 17, 2014

More Doggie Olympic Coverage

Hello sports fans and doggies. This is The Daily Bone and I’m your athletic doggie host Chester L. W. Spaniel along with my physically fit colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel.

We haven’t been able to write much in the last couple days because our ghost writer has been working overtime. She was awake for forty straight hours Friday through Saturday as she filled in on night shift. The humans must be crazy! We doggies always are sure to get a good nights sleep, as well as two or three naps every day. That way, we’re ready to spring into action at any time during the day or night if our homeland security skills are needed.

Garbage truck! Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark!

Yes sir, we are ready to bark at every delivery truck, every car door slamming, and every sign of unauthorized trespassing activity anywhere in our area, and respond to the network of other neighboring doggies who bark and spread the warnings about … Um, Chester, we’re supposed to talking about sports, remember? 

Oh yeah. We got to see some more speed skating. It looked pretty dangerous for the humans to be sliding around with meat cleavers on their feet, especially for the little girls. I wonder what happens if they all fall down at the same time. Someone is bound to get cut! Well anyway, they went around and around and around the ice track. We counted—and this was hard to do since they went around really fast!—fourteen laps. Around around around around. How do they not get dizzy? 

Next was hockey. This was quite a rough sport with lots of pushing and shoving as the players tried to get the flat circular squeaky toy into the net. The humans all had lots of padding on and, of course, long knives on their feet. The fans were all shouting and yelling and jumping up and down as they cheered on their favorite team. 

There was more bobsledding to watch. We saw the Jamaican bobsled team! Hooray! We didn’t really understand why everybody liked them so much, but our humans explained that there is no snow in Jamaica. Oh. There was some information about the design of the bobsleds too. It seems these sleds ride over the ice on top of big sharp knives too. So, I’m going to make a doggie logic conclusion that knives make things go faster on the ice, and just about all of the winter Olympics is about going as fast as possible. 

Except for one sport: curling. This sport involved sliding a big rock over the ice towards a circle of other rocks to try to knock those rocks out of the circle. One human slides the rock while two others use special broom things to guide the rock on its way. We’re not sure how the sweeping helps. We doggies thought this was a lot of fun to watch. Personally, I would love to see the humans try to do this sport using a Wiggly Giggly ball instead of a rock! Heheheh! Those things never go where you expect them to. Plus they make the most delightful squeaky sound. 

And that’s our report, sports fans. Now it’s time for Joey dog and me to do our own winter sports: running, jumping, tracking, and playing in the snow in the zero degree, bright, sunny weather! And that’s memo. 

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