Saturday, October 31, 2015

It's The Great Pumpkin!

Happy Halloween everybody! This is The Daily Bone and I'm your brave doggie commentator Chester L. W. Spaniel along with my steadfast associate Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel. 

A couple weeks ago, ghostwriter purchased a lovely orange pumpkin from the local farm store. She sat it on the ground in front of the arborvitae and the snow-on-the-mountain and it looked very nice. 

Today ghostwriter and Dad brought the pumpkin into the house and set it on the table. 

Without delay, Dad stuck a knife in it and carved the top out! 

Then he proceeded to remove all the guts and seeds! 

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! You didn't tell me you were going to kill it! 


Thursday, October 29, 2015

Big Big Wind

Hi everyone! This is The Daily Bone and I'm your athletic doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

I am running in the wind! Wooooohooooo! It's crazy windy today! Leaves were blowing everywhere!

You would think nothing can fly in this, but this is what we saw, despite of it. 

Jet going up.

Two military choppers.

Crows doing aerial acrobatics.

Flock of geese. 

The high winds didn't stop the Evil Squirrel Cartel either. Here's one crossing the driveway: 

Here's another one in the back yard: 

We're off! 


Whoa, look! Garbage truck! Bark bark bark bark woof woof bark woof! 





What are we chasing this time? I forgot.

It was a busy day!

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Sparrows Incorporated

Hello loyal readers. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your diligent doggie reporter 
Chester L. W. Spaniel.

Today there were lots of sparrows at our window feeder. They loved the suet dispensers Dad tacked onto the sides of the box. They loved it so much that they approached me with a business proposal. 

I should probably give you a bit of back-story at this point. There is a large population of house sparrows who have frequent and very noisy conventions in the arborvitae hedge a couple yards over. See that row of tall green bushes on the right, just beyond the red Japanese maple in the picture below?  In addition to being a sparrow social entertainment center, those bushes are their corporate headquarters, as well as a high rise luxury sparrow apartment complex. Considering the numbers of them that go in and out of there at all times of the day, whether they're having a boisterous rock concert or quietly finding a nice perch for the night, this location seems to have an extraordinarily high amount of birdie traffic.

As you might know, although I am a bird doggie by breed, I have learned not to bark at the little birdies who visit the feeder. So today, the CEO of Sparrows Incorporated, Mr. Mortimer Seedcruncher, approached me with a business proposition.

Greetings Mr. Spaniel. What a lovely cafeteria you have here! 

He summoned his secretary, Miss Millet, to take notes.

Hello. My name is Emily Millet.

This was the proposal:

1. I, Chester L. W. Spaniel, will make sure Dad fills the feeders frequently, and continues to provide suet cakes as well.

2. I make sure the Evil Squirrel Cartel doesn't plunder said feeders. 

3. In addition, I will bark at the larger bully birds, e.g. grackles, so that they do not hog up all the seeds and pick on Mr. Seedcruncher's large extended family, associates, and proteg├ęs. 

4. He, Mr. Seedcruncher, will allow other smaller birdies, e.g. chickadees, finches, downy woodpeckers, etc. access to the seeds and suet cakes. 

5. He will also provide a free pass to, specifically, blue jays and cardinals because they usually do not harass the smaller birdies. 

6. In return for this, Mr. Seedcruncher will purchase the arborvitae bushes growing behind the back fence of our property for the purpose of expanding his real estate endeavors in this neighborhood.

7. He will also provide free access to me, my esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel, and my humans to any and all birdie entertainment events, specifically chirping contests, sparrow music festivals, weddings or divorce proceedings, sparrow fellowship conventions, and sparrow kick-boxing exhibitions.

Seriously, have you ever seen house sparrows fighting? It's no holds barred! 

I trust everything is in order Mr. Spaniel, and we can look forward to a lucrative business partnership in this venture. If you'll excuse me now, Miss Millet and I have to take a break for dining purposes. 

Gee whiz! How can I say no to a deal like that? I guess I'd better get to work!

Oh, and here's a picture of the moon last night. I hope my dear Princess Leah had a chance to see it too. It was all fuzzy and spooky peeking through the trees and the misty clouds. 

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

They're Back Again!

Greetings fellow doggies, kitty friends, and esteemed humans. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your serious doggie reporter
Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

Do you see what I see out there? It's a grackle! I haven't seen one of these since last July. But apparently they're migrating south, and made a pit stop in our yard. 

The Bluehead brothers, Seedy, Stinky, and Pooter, are mooching seeds from the sparrows.

If you've been following The Daily Bone for a while, then you know what grackles do. In Spring, they build nests in the trees and bushes around your home. When the babies hatch, the adults keep the nest clean by picking up the big globs of baby birdie poop and dropping them on your car, and on your dining room window, and on your driveway, and on your lawn chairs, and on the sides of your house, and on your head if you're not careful. They have all the singing prowess of fingernails on a chalkboard, and they bully all the other other birdies. They've been a bone of contention to ghostwriter every Spring for years, with their noise, commotion, and mess.


On May 25, 2015, I actually caught a grackle, and the others flew around squawking and dive bombing me as I ran around the yard with it. But I digress.


There was a whole flock of them up in the trees today. But they'd only come down a few at a time. You see, this particular birdie feeder has a mechanism that closes the seed ports when a heavy birdie like a grackle sits on it. They had to wait impatiently for the smaller sparrows, chickadees, and finches to drop seeds down into the grass. Ghostwriter likes to give them elaborate funny names that match their habits. 

Speedy Turdflapper, Corny Poopshooter, and Crappy Dungflinger have arrived! Below, Screechy Takadump is giving the little sparrows the stink eye. 

Oh no, it's Greasy Meadowmuffin,  Precious Wormgrinder, and Crummy Splattermaker waddling around like they own the place.

Look at this! There's a squirrel in the neighbor's yard, and Bubba Slimeysquirt is sitting on the fence asking him to come over and shake the seeds out of the feeder. 

This looks like a job for:


We are on the case at a moments notice …

… with state of the art forensics analysis.

We sniff out all the evidence, and leave no stone unturned.

High speed chasing available at no extra cost.

We conduct wide-ranging reconnaissance missions …

… and provide vigorous and thorough patrol duty.


We tackle grackles and protect your property from gloppy poobombs!

We send the Evil Squirrel Cartel, the Miscellaneous Mousie Mob,
and the Conniving Chipmunk Consortium packing.

The Secretive Bunny Militia doesn't stand a chance with us around!

And best of all: barking is always free!

Monday, October 26, 2015

Monday Night News

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your trusty doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

Apparently yesterday was my birthday and I'm now seven years old. As you know, doggies aren't very adept at reading a calendar, much less remembering when our birthdays are. Ghostwriter had to go to work yesterday and wasn't able to make any birthday plans. But my secretive associate Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel posted a covert message to my wonderful Blogville friends. My good buddy Mr. Jack Freckles mrjackfreckles made me a special birthday card. Isn't it amazing? Wow! Thank you to your Mom and your kitties, Pipo and Minko too! 

My family posted a birthday card on ghostwriter's facebook too! Hooray! 

As you could see in the first photo in today's post, I got a new squeaky toy! This was one that came out of Professor Braydie Spiker's box of paranormal alien squeaky toys that she left for me in her will. It's a great honor that she entrusted me with this treasure, and I will take good care of it …

… just as soon as I take all the stuffing out. 

Now I have a fast breaking news flash. A sneaky squirrel was spotted making a commotion way up in the top of our birch tree. Do you see him? 

Here's a better photo: 

He was twitching his tail and making a horrible scolding noise that sounded like "chuck chuck chuck squaaah!" Naturally, I barked at him and he ran away. But later he was seen sitting on the grass right outside our front door, near our Halloween pumpkin. In the photo below you can see him sneaking away. I'll bet the Evil Squirrel Cartel is planning to chew a hole in the pumpkin to get at the seeds. I advised ghostwriter to bring the pumpkin indoors for a few days until we can carve it on Halloween. 

The weather has been getting steadily colder. This morning there was frost on the grass. Dad put some suet in the bird feeder for the birdies to keep their energy up in the upcoming winter. They didn't waste time finding it and eating it. 

I love watching the little birdies and never bark at them. 

Now I have a bit of sad news. One of our oldest fans at the nursing home where ghostwriter works passed away last week. She loved seeing pictures of Joey dog and me, and had a vast collection of squeaky toys that looked like doggies. We cannot give her name, but here's a picture of one of her toy doggies named Honey. (They were all named Honey.)

In closing ghostwriter wanted to show you some more pictures of our beautiful sunny day. 

Lilac leaves

Hawthorn berries

Long shadows in the morning

Brilliant sun

Berries on burning bush

Random collection

Purple leaves of nightshade vine

Moon last night

Thank you for all your birthday wishes!