Hello everyone. This is The Daily Bone, and I'm your diligent doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel.
Dad went to the hardware store and brought home a brand new super noisy shop vac cleaner monster horrible thing. Did I say it was real noisy? He also brought home a new doggie!
Heheheheh. You're joking, right Dad? Or did that rotten cantankerous loud scary annoying new shop vac machine thing suck all the skin off of that poor doggie??
Fortunately, Dad said this was just a Halloween fake skeleton doggie made out of plastic. Later, my ghostwriter took the new doggie out to the back yard.
I thought, what the heck? Surely that fake doggie doesn't need to go out to the back yard …
But guess who else was out there? None other than Mr. Bones Daily, the skeleton guy that spends most of the year supposedly guarding Dad's workshop in the garage! He was waving his bony hand at me.
"Welcome to spooky season, Chester!" he said. "This is my new skeleton doggie friend named Os Canis, or Ossy for short. He's going to help me with making Halloween even scarier than ever!"
You have GOT to be kidding me!