Monday, December 28, 2020

End of the Year

 Hello everybody. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your diligent doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel. Once again, dear readers, it's time to reflect on the past year and try to make some sense out of it. 

First, I have some sad announcements. On December 21, my kitty cat cousin Maddie, aka Medusa, aka The Kitten Overlord, crossed peacefully over the Rainbow Bridge. 

I remember when Maddie came to live with us for a while. If I got too close to her, she would punch me in the nose! But we both enjoyed looking out the dining room window and watching birdies. 

We also heard about the loss of one of our oldest blogger friends, Hershey on December 3. We're sure going to miss his witty comments! Hopefully his Daddy will still visit us here at The Daily Bone.

Please visit Hershey at: Hershey Barks

(Thank you Ingrid for letting us borrow your beautiful picture tribute to Hershey.) 

Now I have a quick word to my Blogville friends: Sorry I haven't been around much to comment on your wonderful Holiday blogs and greetings. My ghostwriter worked straight through Christmas and will be working through New Year too. She's glad to say that the nursing home where she works is still free of covid! But the people who live there are still on lock down and were unable to see their families, except through a window. Here's our Oma waving from the window to her visitors who had to stand out in the freezing cold to see her.

My ghostwriter says she often shows her residents goofy pictures of me to cheer them up.

Moving on to more things from the year 2020, it seems despite all the terrible things going on, we managed to find beautiful and wonderful things right in our own yard. All we had to do was remember to look up and look down.

January sun

February moon

March clouds

April robin's nest

May flowers

June storm

July flowers

August mantis

September toad

October leaves

November sky

December snow

We hope you had a wonderful Christmas, and that the year 2021 will be a whole lot better! 

Thursday, December 17, 2020

Snow and Crazy Birdies

 Hello everyone. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

This morning we woke up to snow on the ground. In fact, it was actually enough for the snow plow to  go rumbling by, clearing the streets and putting down salt!

It was almost enough for my ghostwriter to finally admit winter has arrived. (Oh, but she's sure we still should have some warm days left before Christmas.)

Yeah, whatever.

Anyhow, we filled all the birdie feeders so the little birdies won't go hungry in the cold temperatures.

But it seemed that every few seconds, they were all flying away.

Yum yum yum yum!

Then … zoom! 

And no, I'm not the one scaring them away!

And, yes, I have snow on my nose.

Bye bye birdies!

Sunday, December 13, 2020

Ditzy Squirrels

 Hello everyone. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your alert doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

We've been getting a dusting of snow every few days. Usually it melts pretty quickly. That hasn't stopped our local chapter of the Evil Squirrel Cartel! They've been out every single day snarfing up the seeds the birdies drop from the feeders. In fact, they're getting pretty fat! But lately they've decided the seeds on the ground are not enough for them. So they tried to break into our squirrel proof feeders. 

Here is Madame Curie Potato-Chips in her first attempt. That's Einstein Dingaling on the ground underneath.

Hey what are you looking at?

Dingaling had enough smarts to get out from underneath, just in case his big, and we mean BIG, sister falls off. Here's a picture that shows that, as Potato-Chips hangs on the feeder, the seed ports close. She tried chewing on them, but they're made of metal. 



Sunday, December 6, 2020

Elf on the Shelf

 Greetings friends and especially long time readers, doggies, and kitties! This is The Daily Bone and I'm your enduring and endearing doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

It's time for my annual December pre-holiday post about the infamous Elf on the Shelf! We originally posted this as an advertisement for The Double Doggie Homeland Security System way back in 2014. At that time I was still honored to have the company of my esteemed and erudite doggie brother Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel, Detective Chief Inspector, Comestibles Division. Long time readers will remember him. We still miss him very much! 

So without further ado, here it is:


Has your house been invaded by a little alien called a Shelf Elf? Does it sit and spy on you day in and day out? Does it show up in the most unlikely places and stare at you whenever you eat an extra cookie? Well worry no more! The Double Doggie Homeland Security System has a fantastic, limited, one time only deal.


Yes, you heard it right! Simply bring your despicable shelf elf to my workshop. I will personally inspect it for bombs and listening devices, and give it a good slobbering. I will then shred it. I have been developing and perfecting my squeaky toy un-stuffing, de-squeaking, and fragmentation skills for twelve years now, and thus I am uniquely qualified for this dangerous and tricky procedure.


The destruction and disposal of your devious shelf elf will be done is strict confidentiality. You will never have to worry about crime scene evidence. I will render the plastic head parts into tiny bits, and the cloth parts into shreds, which my humans will discretely scatter into random trash bags. 

We are sure Santa will never be able to keep track of the millions of shelf elf entities out there spying and tattling. They all look pretty much alike. In fact, I heard from a reliable source that these things are really mindless clones, mass produced by some big foreign manufacturing company, and not related to Santa Claus at all. Who would perpetrate such a devious spy campaign? Besides passing along personal information about your behavior and eating habits, shelf elf puts you at risk for identity theft, security breach, and hackers. I've even heard they are connected to the Cancel Culture PC Police! What a horrible thought!

Like your social security number and computer codes!

Just imagine! Your life will be free of that annoying shelf elf, with it's prying eyes, leering smirk, bulbous cheekbones, and long, gangly limbs. You will be able to enjoy your illicit cookies, candy canes, hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, eggnog, and holiday fruitcake without guilt or worry about that tattletale elf! 

But remember. This is a limited time offer. You must act fast. This offer will only be available until December 25, 2020.*

As an extra bonus, we will also shred Santa hats and fake antlers for the first five callers! 

Oh thank goodness!




(Donations of yum yum doggie treats are gratefully accepted.)

*After December 25, if you do not use our shredding service, we suggest you put your shelf elf into a hermetically sealed plastic bag, and store in a plastic bin in your basement, attic, or crawl space, where it will be temporarily deactivated. Other disposal suggestions: bonfire, trash can, your nearest deep body of water, or burial under six feet of dirt. The Double Doggie Homeland Security System will not be responsible for harmful side-effects. 

Happy holidays everyone!

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

A Doggie's Work …

Greetings! This is The Daily Bone and I'm your disgruntled doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

My ghostwriter has been working a lot lately. She had to work almost the entire Thanksgiving holiday weekend. She was originally scheduled to have turkey day off, but ended up working it anyway. Blah! Then Sunday night, she had to stay on until 3am! I've been guarding her white shoes so she will have to take her scheduled two days off! Grrrr!!!! 

It's been raining most of the yesterday and today. But that didn't stop the Evil Squirrel Cartel from invading my yard and eating seeds the birdies drop from the feeders. Look how fat this one is!

The little sparrows said this squirrel is named Madame Curie Potato-Chips because she thinks she's very smart—like the world famous scientist—but like a potato chip bag, she's all full of hot air. (I wonder how those birdies think up those silly names???) 


Here's another squirrel that's been getting into the seeds dropped under the window box birdie feeder. 

If memory serves, this one is named Einstein Dingaling. Dad says he's even seen this one jump right into the feeder! 

Bark bark bark! Get lost squirrel!

Meanwhile, yet another squirrel has been destroying our pumpkin that's been sitting by the front door. What a mess! They're very sneaky and we have yet to catch them in the act. 

I'm not allowed to run in the front yard because there's no fence. But I'll keep up my watch in the back yard defending my little birdie friends' birdie seeds from the Evil Squirrel Cartel!

A doggie's work is never done!


This is an exclusive, live update about the Evil Squirrel Cartel operative who has been eating our pumpkin! Please note the photos are blurry because the window on the storm door kept fogging up.

When my ghostwriter opened the front door to check for packages, she saw the culprit! He immediately began to flee. But then he came back and climbed up the arborvitae side stump.

And there he sat, looking all innocent! 

I want to speak to my lawyer. 

He finally took off when he heard me barking. Later, my little sparrow friend Winifred Seedcruncher said that this was the infamous Tesla Twitch from the other side of the neighborhood. Well, I can believe that since the local squirrels were never smart enough to chew up the pumpkin like that! 

Hey squirrel, what ever your name is, your ride is here to take you back to your own territory!