Sunday, March 31, 2019


Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your diligent doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel, with today's update of the ongoing grackle invasion. I think they should rename themselves the Great Grackle Flying Circus! 

This guy popped up on the window feeder this morning. He didn't even introduce himself, and immediately started complaining.

Hey! Still no seeds!

And hardly any suet left!

Oh that makes me so angry! 

Don't make me come up there!

Umph! Hey you stingy humans!

And your little dog too!

I'll have you know, this means war!

Oh, I'm SO scared!

Bark Bark Bark Bark! 



Harumph! I guess I showed him!

Oh, and look look look lookie look! We FINALLY have some flowers! 

It's spring!

(A few hours later … )

Saturday, March 30, 2019

Signs of Spring

Greetings friends and fans. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your intrepid doggie reporter 
Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

Here in Western NY spring weather seems to be very elusive to say the least. The month of March doesn't want to let go of it's icy grip! While it was a bit warmer today, the weather man says it's supposed to snow tomorrow. But we can still be hopeful because of other signs of spring. For example, Thursday evening, my ghostwriter went out the front door, hoping there might be a nice sunset. To her great surprise, an entire flock of turkey vultures drifted by!

My ghostwriter remembers a time when a big turkey vulture, or any type of large hawk or eagle was an extremely rare sight. Seeing a lot of them gliding effortlessly in the air was amazing! 

The grackles were not very happy about them, though. They flew to the treetops screeching like idiots! But those vultures couldn't be bothered with a bunch of silly grackles. They eat road kill, and stuff like that. They are the clean-up crew of nature.

Hey! It's starting to rain!

And the wind is blowing like crazy.

Over the sinister whirring of the wind through the still bare trees, I hear another sound that means spring is arriving: frogs singing! Well, I hope those little spring peepers don't get their buns frozen off tomorrow if it snows!  

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Griping Grackles Again

Greetings everyone. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your fearless doggie reporter 
Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

As more and more birdies return from their tropical vacations, we've had more threats from the Great Grackle Flying PTA (Poop Tossers Association.) Check out this pompous slime ball:

Hey you! Dog face! Yeah, you!

My name is Mr. Seedy Stinkeye, and I represent the Law Firm of Wormgobbler and Dungspatter. I'm here to inform you that we, along with the Law Offices of Dingy and Dungy Greedyeater, and the entire Great Grackle Flying PTA are considering a class action suit against your birdie food emporium, and the fact that the feeders are still empty, and the suet cake continues to decline in size. 

Perhaps you don't realize that the glorious Great Grackle Flying PTA has usurped and claimed all of the surrounding evergreens and the local food sources for the purpose of nest building and the rearing of this years generation of gorgeous and gifted grackle gargoyles—oops, I mean offspring. 

If you don't fill the birdie feeders with prime quality birdie seeds by 5PM today, we will proceed to bombard your humans' house and cars with gigantic, gloppy grackle droppings! 

Oh yeah? And who gave you the deed to our neighborhood? I'm sure the rest of the birdies don't appreciate you and your belligerent gang of litigious poop mongers! 

Sir Bertram Robin: You're darn tootin we don't!

Debbie Dove: Those grackles are very rude and mean.

Sid Starling: Yeah, who do they think they are?

I'll have you know, Mr. Stinkeye, my humans are deliberately not filling up the feeders so you bossy grackles will get out of town! Furthermore, I, Chester L. W. Spaniel represent the Double Doggie Homeland Security System and we specialize in protecting our territory from bullies of all kinds. If you would like more information, I'm sure the Evil Squirrel Cartel will attest to my effectiveness.


You tell 'em Chester!

And by the way, have you noticed my glossy new summer feathers?

Good grief!

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Friday, March 22, 2019

More Birdie Drama

This is The Daily Bone and I'm your diligent doggie reporter Chester L. W.  Spaniel.

As you know, the Great Grackle Flying PTA (Poop Tossers Association) has arrived from their tropical vacations this week. Now their lady friends are here too. In fact, I saw Miss Mimsy Crapindoodle being courted by a half dozen suitors at a time, showing off their greasy feathers and making the most dissonant, screechy, squawking I've ever heard. They've also been snarfing up all the birdie seeds from our feeders. And NOW, they have the nerve to complain. Check out this blowhard: 

My name is Mr. Boudreaux S. Buttpaste Esquire. Behind me are my solicitors, Junior Slimeysquirt, and Slick Flightysplat of the Law Offices of Dingy and Dungy Greedyeater. I would like to register a complaint regarding this food emporium! As you can plainly see, the two hanging feeders are completely empty, as is this window feeder. In addition, the suet cakes are running low. 

I'm giving you a warning that if your birdie food supplies are not replenished by 3 O'Clock this afternoon, there will be a lengthy legal battle. We will also proceed to defame you on social media. You will find our subpoena written in grackle poop below the feeders.

Oh yeah? 

They've GOT to be kidding me, right? 


Yipes! Scarrrreeeeeeech!

I know how to deal with that rabble.

Here's my reply to that subpoena!

Got rid of those ungrateful grackles for sure! And their frivolous lawsuit too!

Sid Starling was happy about that.

Good job, Chester!

Besides, everyone should know, 

The suet belongs to me! Yum!


Oh, and there is supposed to be a big winter storm headed our way later today. I bet that'll freeze the pinfeathers off those stinky old grackles! Stay tuned for updates.

One hour later: