This is a fast-breaking news story from The Daily Bone, and I'm your proficient doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel.
Sunday was my twelfth birthday and I got not one, not two, but three new squeaky toys!
As you can see, all three of these squeaky toys were practically exploding with stuffing, and each one had a toxic squeaker somewhere inside it. I had to operate immediately!
Don't worry squeaky toys! I'll soon have you all better!
After giving each one a good slobbering, I began to work on getting that malignant stuffing out. It was touch and go for a few hours. Unfortunately my ghostwriter, who has been a registered nurse for 39 years, decided they would need to go to the Intensive Care Unit for a few days. (I think she was more worried about me becoming too stressed out from performing surgery on three such serious patients.) I'll be sure to keep you posted.