Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your diligent doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel.
I'm out in the snow checking out the newest, most swanky, up-and-coming club in town: The Sparrows Inc. Country Club In The Sticks. It's a combination dance club, casino, and sparrow kick-boxing arena, with high-end luxury hotel suites. As an added attraction for a limited time only, it has ample snow cover, making it an ideal cozy hide-out for those cold winter nights. Anytime you want a snack, simply zoom over to the drive through window box birdie feeder where you'll find an assortment of delectable seeds, suet cake, and sometimes even peanuts, and pieces of bread.
It doesn't look like much from the outside. In fact, it's downright rustic!
Even the side entrance is unassuming. Hmm. I wonder if it has spa services too?
I decided to give this place a closer look and see if I could talk with the owner, Mr. Mortimer Seedcruncher, CEO of Sparrows Incorporated.
As you can see, a few sparrows flew out, sat on the fence, and gave me the stink eye.
Um, hello birdies. Sorry to bother you, but is Mr. Seedcruncher there? I'd like to interview him for The Daily Bone.
|No! He's out checking his other properties! Get lost, doggo!|
Sheesh! This really is an exclusive place! I guess I interrupted their poker game.
Oh, in case you're wondering, I did not see the Evil Squirrel Cartel all day today. I did a bit of research and found out they've been visiting another yard where they've been feasting on fermented crab apples.