Tuesday, December 19, 2017

In The Shticks and Mud

Hello friends. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your dependable doggie reporter 
Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

As you can see all our wonderful snow is gone. It melted overnight, and now there's mud everywhere. The Sparrows Inc. Country Club in the Sticks has lost its snow cover as well. But that hasn't stopped the little sparrows from hanging out there. Ghostwriter said she counted almost two dozen of them at one point this afternoon. Here's a picture of some of the gang:

Ghostwriter expressed concern about the birdie poops all over the wooden glider. Dad says he's going to have to invest in a power washer next Spring if this keeps up.

So I wandered over there to have a little talk with the Sparrows Incorporated CEO Mr. Mortimer Seedcruncher again. He's a good guy and lives up to his promises in our contract. We've had a good working relationship over the years. I keep the Evil Squirrel Cartel out of the birdie feeders. In return, he provides me with a free pass to all Sparrows Inc. concerts, conventions, chirping contests, and kick-boxing competitions. (Seriously, have you ever seen sparrows fight? It's no holds barred!)

But he still wasn't there! The birdies who were there said he was on vacation in Jamaica, or South America, or something. One of them said he was in Detroit working on another housing complex deal. But the others disagreed, and then they all flew over to the arbor vitae bush started fighting. 

Why do I get the feeling that something's amiss at Sparrows Inc? Well, far be it for me to try to figure out their birdie drama. I told them they'd better clean up their act or else Dad will put their real estate venture (that pile of sticks) through the noisy screaming dragon scary wood chipper machine monster thing and turn it all into mulch. 

Meanwhile, Fatty White-ears the squirrel was waiting not far from the birdie feeder, rubbing his greasy little paws together in anticipation of having all the birdie seeds to himself! I'll deal with him anon. 

Hopefully boss birdie will be back soon and straighten everything out. I wouldn't put it past his relatives to let the property get all run down. However, I think they just don't have the business sense that Mr. Seedcruncher has. So, I'll continue to hold up my end of the deal and chase the Evil Squirrel Cartel away. The sparrows aren't my only birdie feeder customers, either. There's still the Blue Jay brothers, my little Chickadees, Gordy Whitebeak and his team of Juncos from Canada, a few Goldfinches in their drab winter attire, the occasional Downy Woodpecker, and the illustrious Cardinal family. Oh, and I can't forget Debbie Dove! She's a real sweetheart, and a birdie feeder regular!

Well, I certainly appreciate the services here! 

Somebody's got to maintain law and order!

(But mostly, I just like to chase those squirrels. Heheheh.)


  1. We can see those birds better get back and defend their turf soon....can't let the neighborhood go to those squirrel thugs!

  2. Good Job Chester!! You gots to keeps those tree rats away from the burdie foods! That's what I do all day long...though, I do not have a contract with the burdie consortium ~ maybe I needs to remedy that...hmmm.
    Ruby ♥

  3. Oh Chester, you are my hero doing all that patrol work to do to keep law and order in your garden, don't work too hard though, don't want you to be tired out fur the DANCE!!!!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

  4. Wow - you have a lot to supervise there and maintain order, Chester!

  5. Goodness, I hope you get overtime for all your hard work! What with writing poems, chasing squirrels, keeping vigil over the bird feeder and all the other hard work you do.

    Mara from Norway

  6. Great reporting as always. Our squirrels keep trying to move into the bird tree condos but the birds are having none of it. So far the squirrels have had no luck in court.

  7. What a great backyard sheriff you are Chester...keeping law and order in your backyard!
    Jakey, Arty & Rosy

  8. Those birdies don't know how lucky they are to have you around. You sure have a fun job chasing those tree rats out of the yard for them.

  9. You certainly have your work cut out fur you, Chester! Good job!

  10. It sounds like Boss Birdie was smart and flew the coop to warmer territories. That bird poop can be just disgusting. Maybe your Dad can rig up something with some heavy duty trash bags and cover that pretty bench, then just toss the bags in the spring:)

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

  11. You have so many different birds hanging out with you. If that squirrel doesn't quit eating, you'll be able to catch him! LOL!

  12. I am glad you are setting the birds straight. Good job

  13. Oh dear, sparrow chaos! Keep that squirrel on his toes Chester!

  14. Lots of pretty birds, Chester! We get hairy woodpeckers and red bellied woodpeckers too. And nuthatches and different kinds of sparrows as well. Recently there was even a blue bird! Hungry and ravenous! And now we get wrens too. They eat through a whole feeder full in about 2 days. The sunflower seeds are gone after only a few hours...and suet is in high demand. Interestingly we do not have too many squirrel dudes right now. But...there are tracks in our snow back in the woodsy part of the yard...they just are not brave enough or hungry...there are plenty of walnuts from this falls bounty.