Welcome everybody to The Daily Bone. I’m your host, Chester L. W. Stephens, chairman of the Squeaky Party, where we believe squeaky toys will make the world a better place!
Today I took a look at a fashion magazine. That was a real strange endeavor, to say the least. It had page after page of advertisements for something called make-up. Apparently the humans like to paint their eyelids and lips all sorts of weird colors. For some reason, eyelashes are very important. There are intricate devices with special little brushes and substances that make eyelashes look longer and fuller. If that’s still not enough to do the trick, just glue on some fake ones. As a doggie, I can’t for the life of me figure out why anyone would do these things. I would never even dream of covering up my freckles or use paint to make my eyes look smokey and romantic! Besides, if your eyes were actually smoking, I'd wonder if you might be an alien from X-Files!
According to this magazine, it’s also important to lug all your face paints around in a thing called a purse. It can’t be just any purse either. It has to be one with a big fashion designer’s name on it. The more expensive it is, the better! Somehow my unadorned colleague, Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens and I have managed to make it this far in life without carrying a purse with all of our make-up, cell phones, credit cards, moisturizer, sun block, pens, keys, e-readers, gym socks, deodorant, nail polish, nail files and clippers, brushes and combs, scarves, candy, snacks, smelly perfume—ugh, blah—hair spray, laptop computers, ipod, medicine, vitamins, cough drops, energy drinks, tooth whitener, and all of the other stuff advertised in this magazine. Think of how much fun you can have if you weren’t loaded down with a heavy purse! In my opinion, the only thing I might possibly consider important enough to carry around all day would be my favorite squeaky toy. And that’s a memo.
Do we look like we need make-up?