Thursday, June 20, 2013

Climate Change

Greetings. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your diligent doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel.

Our president is going to be talking to other countries about climate change. I though it would be a good time to post a TDB I wrote last winter about just that subject, and here it it:

Today I’d like to talk about climate change. Apparently there are people who think it is entirely our fault the climate is changing. They say we must take drastic actions, and spend lots of money to battle the threat of climate change. My question to this is, why do people think the climate should never change? While I’m not an expert on these things, from watching educational television shows, I have learned that the Earth has been around for billions of years, and has changed a lot during that time. I’ve even heard that 99% of all species that have lived here are now extinct! Given this information, how can the humans be so arrogant as to think things will never change, and species will never go extinct? Do they think a river will never flood just because they built their houses there? Do they think the ocean will never rise just because they built a city beside it, and that hurricanes will hardly ever happen? Why is everyone so surprised about things like this?

I had a talk with my esteemed associate, Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel about this concept. We decided to look out the window for a long time to try and see this change going on. Today it was very cold out. Sometimes it was sunny, sometimes cloudy. It snowed for a little while. It was light in the morning, and dark in the evening. Wow! Things are changing like crazy! Then we went out to detect the signs of global warming. We couldn’t find any in the snow! Then we thought about our environment in the backyard in the long term. Sometimes the grass is long and wet, and other times it’s short and dry. There are no leaves on the trees today, but we know if we wait long enough the leaves will grow back. There are times when there is a lot of water and mud on the ground, but other times it’s hard as a rock. What’s wrong with all that?

My advice to the humans is, embrace the change. Change is interesting. Who knows what wonderful things are yet to come through the process of evolution? Weather changes all the time. Get over it. If you feel guilty about it, then stop driving around so much and stay home and play with your doggies more. Go for long walks. Recycle things. Most importantly, don’t buy so much junk. (Do you really need twenty pairs of shoes, four dozen shirts, fifty pairs of pants, and two hundred socks that were all made in China? Think about that in terms of the amount of pollution produced whilst manufacturing and shipping your junk.) Bury the doggie poop under the tree so it will grow better. Give your doggies the leftover broccoli, and start a compost pile. Drink water from the tap instead of from plastic bottles. (Duh!) Stop putting chemicals on your grass. Who really cares if there are a few weeds and bare spots? And, if overpopulation is a problem where you live, then stop reproducing so much! Sheesh! That’s a no-brainer! Joey dog and I don’t have any offspring and it doesn’t bother us. 

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