Wednesday, March 13, 2019

The Grackles Are Back!

Hello everyone. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your distinguished doggie reporter 
Chester L. W. Spaniel.

This morning we heard a horrible screechy sound like fingernails on a chalkboard. Looking out the window, we saw the Great Grackle Flying PTA (Poop Tosser's Association) had arrived. Long time readers will remember our yearly rants about these annoying birdies. They bully the other nice birdies, fling big slimy poops on your car, house, windows, and outdoor furniture, and eat all the birdie seeds. In early spring, the males arrive in big flocks and make a terrible racket as they squawk and puff their shiny feathers trying to secure real estate deals from the Evil Squirrel Cartel. They are very vainglorious and tend to have pompous names that describe their favorite attributes. For example, here, from left to right, we have Messy Poopitcher, the illustrious grackle boss Effluvium Scatterstool, and his lawyers Shiny Sournote, and Huffy Meadowmuffin. 

As you can see in the picture below, old Bubba Dingleberry is knocking seeds out of the birdie feeder for Black Friday the squirrel in an effort to negotiate a choice nesting site on the top of the big arbor vitae. On the left are two red winged blackbirds, who sometimes migrate along with the flocks of grackles. They're OK and will probably proceed to the local ponds and wetlands for the season.

Here's alias Twinkletoes the squirrel snarfing up seeds, while Cocky Turdflapper chases the sparrows away. Up on the feeders is Snobby Slimysquirt and his brother Bob.

Needless to say, Sparrows Incorporated CEO Mortimer Seedcruncher III was not amused, and asked me to meet him ASAP at the Sparrows Inc. Winter Lodge in the Sticks. I told him I'd do the best I can to chase those big thugs away.

Even Sid Starling was angry, and worried they would eat up all of the suet, and take all the best nesting sites. (Behind him are Chucky Schitzle, Greasy Takadump, and Stinky Purplehead, plus an assortment of disgruntled sparrows.)

What the *#%*! Chester?

Hey, I didn't invite them!

There goes the neighborhood!

I'll continue to report on the progress of the grackle invasion. Thankfully, they usually disappear at the end of June when they're done raising their families. Here's a link to a video that shows a bunch of grackles and the atrocious noises they make: 

Crazy Puffing Grackles

I can sing a lot better then those obnoxious grackles!


  1. I do remember you barking about the grackles! What a nuisance they must be for you. I know you'll continue to try and negotiate a shorter stay for them. Our neighbor has a mockingbird that talks all night long. I hear it when I take the boys out to potty. It would drive me crazy. LOL!

  2. I don't think I like those grackles. They are obnoxious and they stay at the party too long. They kmae a mess and don't clean up. Where is Elmer Fudd when you need him?

  3. We just love the names you give those pests. You just need to keep chasing them away but don't wear yourself out too much.

  4. All the wind we have here must be blowing those grackles east toward you. If you need help chasing the noisy birds away, we are happy to join your army.

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

  5. We get those rapscallions here too...Booo...
    Have not seen any as yet though...just give it some time. Maybe the bad weather we are supposed to have tomorrow will blow them away?!

  6. OMD - what horrible doGAwful noises they make! You have chosen the absolute bestest names for them, Chester, and you have us laughing☺ Thank you!

  7. Oh Chester your names for the screeching grackles are hilarious I love this one Cocky Turdflapper.
    I took my morning walk in the great out of doors today (it was already high 60's at 8 am). The crows were obnoxious as usual.
    I'd rather hear you melodious BOL any day
    Hugs Cecilia

  8. those nasty Grackles!! We have seen a few birds but no obnoxious ones yet
    Hazel & Mabel

  9. Oh, I hates those Grackles! I just knows you will be able to gets the nice burdies some foodables, and maybe keep the nasty Grackles in line! If you needs some help, just lets me know....
    Ruby ♥