Sunday, December 8, 2013

Squirrel: How Do I Hate Thee?

This is The Daily Bone and I’m your humble doggie host Chester L. W. Spaniel.

In light of yesterday’s TDB about hate, my learned colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel and I had a discussion about how hate is taking over the internet, the human population of this country, and the world. I said that hate is a bad thing. So how can we doggies justify the fact that we routinely chase squirrels, enjoy watching videos about dizzy squirrels on spinning bird feeders, and squirrels being flung into outer space by home made catapults, and report regularly on our on-going mission to keep squirrels out of our yard? Oddly enough, the answer is: we don’t hate squirrels. We love them! Now before all you doggies out there start growling in disagreement, consider this: if it wasn’t for squirrels, what would you be having fun doing? As you probably know, doggies are hunters. Yes, all of you toy poodles and pampered yorkies out there, you too have hunting instincts. In the stone age, before humans domesticated doggies, it used to be of utmost importance that we catch other animals to eat or else we would die of starvation. In response to that, we evolved excellent senses of hearing, sight, and smell, and strong, fast bodies with which to find and catch food. Just because our humans feed us now, doesn’t mean we’ve lost that instinct. We are still hardwired to chase things, and enjoy doing it.

Joey dog and I made a list of the things we love: eating yum yums, food watching, sleeping on the couch, feeling happy when our humans arrive home, playing with squeaky toys, and especially chasing squirrels. Thank you, squirrels, for your persistence in raiding our bird feeders, our pear tree, the compost pile, and the hawthorn tree. Thank you for running so fast, getting stuck in the silver maple tree in our back yard, and providing hours of barking activity, exercise, and entertainment. Chasing squirrels is the high point of our day! And that’s a memo.

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