Monday, December 2, 2013

Cyber Monday

Greetings, and welcome to The Daily Bone. I’m your humble doggie host Chester L. W. Stephens.


Here we go again. It’s another ominous day: Cyber Monday. The word, cyber, brings up all kinds of frightful ideas about evil robots, high tech aliens, and scary movies: The Matrix, Star Wars, Terminator, The X-Files, etc. My humans say their email accounts are suddenly filled with junk mail about cyber sales. Oh no! Does this mean they will be buying one of those robot vacuum cleaner thingies that drives around the house terrorizing pets all day? Perhaps I’d better hide under the bed again, and hope it doesn’t suck up any of my squeaky toys.

Cyber squirrels?
I asked my erudite colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens what he thought about that. He said all we’d have to do was sit on the furniture where the roomba can’t reach. That didn’t sound too comforting to me, so he reminded me that there hasn’t been a vacuum cleaner yet that hasn’t been defeated by our secret formula dust bunnies made out of our shed fur, squeaky toy stuffing, and dirt we track in from the back yard. Why else would the regular vacuum cleaner be sitting in the garage gathering dust while our humans use a broom to sweep? He says he’s sure that a robot vacuum cleaner would be quickly clogged and end up moldering on the junk heap of demoralized machines.


Well, that's a relief, I think.


And that's a memo.

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