Thursday, April 13, 2017

My Annual Easter Bunny Treatise

Hello everybody. This is a special edition of The Daily Bone and I'm your serious doggie reporter 
Chester L. W. Spaniel.

It's that time of year for the Easter bunny to break into your house and leave lots of candy. This has always seemed odd to me, as a doggie. I mean, usually your house gets broken into when someone wants to steal something from you, rather than give you something. If a giant weirdo bunny rabbit tried to break into my house, even if he had a basket of candy, I'd be in full on attack mode! (Or else hiding under the bed.) Fortunately, there are no little children living in my house at this time, so I don't have to be on heightened alert the night before Easter Sunday.


I've always been confused how bunnies became associated with this religious holiday. But it has something to do with spring, and the fecundity of rabbits. Somehow baby chicks got pulled into the whole tradition too. But I'll leave that for another discussion.

Ghostwriter told me that over the ages, several countries developed their own Easter/Springtime traditions, which have been brought to this country and transformed into the conglomeration of symbols and treats that is Easter today. She says her favorite tradition is going to Stever's Candies.


Which brings me to the most important part of my yearly Easter essay.


I have a very important reminder now. Be extra careful your doggie doesn't get any of that chocolate the Easter bunny brings. Chocolate is a deadly poison to doggies! If your doggie finds and eats some chocolate, give him an ounce of hydrogen peroxide, which will make him throw up. Then proceed to your closest emergency vet clinic.

This warning has been brought to you by the Yum Yum Coalition, founded by my esteemed and late colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel, Doggie Chief Inspector, comestibles division.

Now, I'd like to impart to you some of my knowledge on bunny rabbits in general. I have all kinds of invaders in my back yard. The Evil Squirrel Cartel is the one you doggies out there will be the most familiar with. There's also the Conniving Chipmunk Consortium, and the Miscellaneous Mousie Mob (which includes mice, moles, voles, and shrews.) Then there's the Secretive Bunny Militia.

I've written about bunnies before. It seems strange to me that they'd even consider coming into my back yard. There's nothing of nutritional value that cannot be obtained anywhere outside of my yard. It's surrounded by a fence, and well marked by over 20 years of doggie pee. All the possible ways a bunny could get into my yard have been blocked so that they would have to exert considerable effort to get in. I have concluded, after many years of research, that bunnies probably have a rite of passage into their secretive society, which includes an obvious, potential suicide mission.

There are always lots of bunnies in my neighborhood.

Check out this dude standing on the street corner!

Now I'd like to remind any of you readers who might be faint-hearted, that doggies are hunters. Even the most domesticated and pampered yorkie, teacup poodle, or miniature pinscher still has at least some of that killer instinct. We cocker spaniels are the smallest of the hunting breeds, and I take my job very seriously. In fact, I have personally caught several bunnies of all sizes. For some reason ghostwriter is never too happy when I catch a bunny, even if I bring it to her with my tail wagging and say, "look, look, lookie, lookie, look Mom, I caught the bunny for YOU!"

Wow! We can have this one for dinner! 

I'm an excellent bunny hunting doggie!

Well, that's all I have to say this year. If you wish to see my essays posted on previous Easters, please check out these links. I think you'll enjoy seeing Joey dog deliver the annual Easter chocolate warning himself.

Whew! I need a nap now!

Please have a safe and joyful Easter!


  1. Yup...Easter can be confusing...but yummy! BOL! Petcretary has to work and the unfurs are all grown up, so there won't be any chocolate filled baskets here...but she did put out some bunny décor! And yes, I too have snagged me a bunny or two...petcretary says she hates how they screech.

    Have a Happy and blessed Easter, Chester and your furmily, too!

  2. I haven't seen any bunnies in my back yard yet, Chester. I'll be on the look out now!
    Happy Easter to you and your family!

  3. I caught mice when we lived in the country. Mara didn't mind even if I left them around the house (not in, actually around the house)! But now I live in town and I have yet to catch a mouse. Perhaps I will try one of those pesky birds...

    Miss Oswin from Norway

  4. We have some of those crazy bunnies living around here too. We can never figure out why they come in our fence when there is more grass and other things for them to eat outside the fence.

  5. There are some rabbits in the woods near our house! Hence my breed, I wish I could hunt them all down...

  6. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH are a hunter's hunter for sure!! Those wild rabbits this time of year are very tempting too...If the would just stay still all would be fine but no they have to jump and wiggle their tushes and the game is on.

    Happy Easter to you all and we just loved your post today
    Hugs madi your bfff

  7. Mom already ate 87 marshmallow peeps
    Lily & Edward

  8. We admire your hunting spirit but we have a rule not to chase bunnies on Easter. You never know if they are bringing a treat. Every other day you can just rip those suckers apart.

  9. Thanks fur the reminder, Chester! I pawsonally stole some Christmas choklit one year, while mommy was still in training. I nevfur barfed it up or went to the vet, but I had runny poop the next day. I thought it was worth it, but that's the last choklit I evfur even got close to. Mommy's mean like that.

  10. Happy Happy Easter!! Yes, chocolate looks great but not good for doggies. Thank you for impawtant reminder!

    Momo & Pinot xoxo

  11. Mom is drooling over all those candies at Stevers. We don't ever get chocolate, but one of us has been known to find himself (hint hint) a bunny or two. We are going to be very happy with turkey for Easter, and maybe some ice cream too:)

    Happy Easter.

    Woos - Lightning and Misty

  12. We had a baby bunny living under our front porch for a while once. But he was sneaky and never got close to us.
    Happy Easter
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

  13. We hope you have a very happy Easter and a non-chocolate bunny makes it into your mouth!

  14. Happy Easter.
    Let's hope no doggies get chocolate.
    xo Astro

  15. Happy Easter Chester and Peeps! Hope your Mom got herself some of those chocolates and you got some nice doggie treats.
    Marty, Mom and the Gang

  16. Dear Chester,

    THAT was not a bunny. BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!

    Regarding real bunnies, Ojo likes to chase and eat them. So they do not come to our house. The people did get chocolate, but this is a very boring occasion for us because they do not let us have any. Something about it being bad for us, which is ridiculous. I'd like to go back to the pancakes from yesterday, please.

    Happy Easter - we hope a nice bunny (not that scary one) left dog treats too!


  17. Always smart to remind hoomans of the toxic things for doggies! Now . . . did your mom cook up that rabbit for you?
    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  18. We are hoping the Easter Bunny left us some goodies for when we get out of the pet hotel.

  19. Happy (belated) Easter to you! You are SO right about the hunting of rabbits...our sweet, lovable and always happy blind Hiker is a rabbit killer (and swallowed it whole!) Luckily only one.