Tuesday, December 1, 2020

A Doggie's Work …

Greetings! This is The Daily Bone and I'm your disgruntled doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

My ghostwriter has been working a lot lately. She had to work almost the entire Thanksgiving holiday weekend. She was originally scheduled to have turkey day off, but ended up working it anyway. Blah! Then Sunday night, she had to stay on until 3am! I've been guarding her white shoes so she will have to take her scheduled two days off! Grrrr!!!! 

It's been raining most of the yesterday and today. But that didn't stop the Evil Squirrel Cartel from invading my yard and eating seeds the birdies drop from the feeders. Look how fat this one is!

The little sparrows said this squirrel is named Madame Curie Potato-Chips because she thinks she's very smart—like the world famous scientist—but like a potato chip bag, she's all full of hot air. (I wonder how those birdies think up those silly names???) 


Here's another squirrel that's been getting into the seeds dropped under the window box birdie feeder. 

If memory serves, this one is named Einstein Dingaling. Dad says he's even seen this one jump right into the feeder! 

Bark bark bark! Get lost squirrel!

Meanwhile, yet another squirrel has been destroying our pumpkin that's been sitting by the front door. What a mess! They're very sneaky and we have yet to catch them in the act. 

I'm not allowed to run in the front yard because there's no fence. But I'll keep up my watch in the back yard defending my little birdie friends' birdie seeds from the Evil Squirrel Cartel!

A doggie's work is never done!


This is an exclusive, live update about the Evil Squirrel Cartel operative who has been eating our pumpkin! Please note the photos are blurry because the window on the storm door kept fogging up.

When my ghostwriter opened the front door to check for packages, she saw the culprit! He immediately began to flee. But then he came back and climbed up the arborvitae side stump.

And there he sat, looking all innocent! 

I want to speak to my lawyer. 

He finally took off when he heard me barking. Later, my little sparrow friend Winifred Seedcruncher said that this was the infamous Tesla Twitch from the other side of the neighborhood. Well, I can believe that since the local squirrels were never smart enough to chew up the pumpkin like that! 

Hey squirrel, what ever your name is, your ride is here to take you back to your own territory!


  1. BOL.BOL! love the Squirrel transport vehicle!!

    That squirrel are at war with petcretary too.

    They are too cunning for us to catch when we try to chase them...they know the sounds of the doggy doors and our tags. Only once there were two intruder squirrels, and they nearly got caught by the tips of their tails...we are fast you know!

    Hope your GW gets a good rest...

  2. BOL BOL BOL Chester as always your reporting is topnotch fair and to the point.
    Those squirrels are so deserving of a ride way far away.
    We found a Repel-Away (not harmful to animals, pest, environment or people) kept they away from our 2nd pumpkin. Sprays on and evidently taste nasty.
    Hugs Cecilia

  3. Stoopid squirrel. We wish the pumpkin would collapse on him while he was inside feasting and get his furs all messy!

  4. You sure have lots of squirrels to keep track of Chester. We think it's interesting how all of them are named after famous scientists. That one eating the pumpkin sure is bold to just hang out while Ghostwriter checked the porch for packages.

  5. Hi Chester: I'm June, a little kitty girl. I know Dougie Dog used to come visit and read your notes about the "evil squirrels" (to compare to the ones he had to deal with) ... but now, I live with the Zoolatry Human. We live way up high, so I'll have to take your word about squirrels 'n' stuff, it is interesting to read about them. I do see lots of birds: they land on the church steeples and domes I see outside my windows, but no squirrels come that high (it's 16 floors my ZH says). Anyway, I like reading your stories, you are funny and cute! See you again, bye! June

  6. Those birdies sure are lucky they have you to protect their foodables!!

  7. Sheesh, Chester, no wonder those squirrels are so fat - they are very well-fed!!! We like pumpkin too, but we prefer ours cooked:)

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

  8. I wanted to say, we've been thinking about your mommy. Thinking she may be working extra long hours lately. Pawlease tell her to conserve as much energy as she can, and to stay safe.

  9. Blerg. Working too much is no fun for us doggies. I have heard 100 stories about squirrels eating pumpkins this season. What is up with them? RUDE!

    Love and licks,

  10. We are sorry your ghostwriter had to work so much. She has a very important job. Those evil squirrels would have made a nice Thanksgiving dinner.

  11. The evil squirrels are surely taking advantage of your mom working hard. They need a bight in the butt.

  12. Hi friend! Ojo here! You may be disgruntled but your haircut looks very nice! Also I think you should eat the white shoes. Also I think you should eat the squirrel. Just saying.

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