Greetings. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel.
It's that time of year again. By this I mean the annual arrival of the Easter Bunny. I get more confused about this every year. I know Easter has something to do with religion. As I've said before, human religions are something our doggie minds cannot fully comprehend. But I know enough to say that usually religions are based on the belief that there is a greater power in charge of things who wants all the humans to be kind to each other and have a happy and peaceful life. How blowing other random humans up with bombs fits into this deal I'll never understand. I'll just stop here on that subject before I get into trouble.
I did a bit of research and found out that the Easter bunny concept began a long time ago. It just happens that Easter coincides with spring, which is the time birdies make their nests and lay eggs. Humans would go out into the woods and notice that bunnies often hid in the same bushes that the birdies nested in; and so someone had the bright idea to tell their children the bunny hid the eggs in there for them to find and eat. This somehow evolved into a holiday that includes bunnies, boiled eggs, chocolate, baskets, artificial plastic grass in various colors, squeaky toys, jelly beans, marshmallow peeps, TV commercials and cartoons, leg of lamb with mint jelly or ham with scalloped potatoes for supper, Charlton Heston movies, bright colored clothing, spring flowers, baby chicks and ducklings, with religion tucked in there somewhere. Again, my doggie mind is boggled when it comes to human symbolism.
I see bunnies every so often in and around my yard. I've caught a few of them. They're always small, with light brown fur, and they can run very fast. Unlike squirrels, they cannot scamper up the nearest tree, and end up running around and around our yard several times and are great fun to chase! Our Miss Ginger was a superb bunny chaser! They can also scream really loudly, which surprised the heck out of my esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel one night when I caught one. I could never figure out why they come into our yard in the first place. It's surrounded by a fence, and what small gaps exist ghostwriter and Dad have blocked with big rocks or more fences. The whole yard is plainly marked with twenty years of doggie pee too! But I digress.
Here's an ad in which the bunny somehow makes chicken noises. It leaves me totally confused!
These days the humans have decided that their little children should be able to visit the Easter bunny at the local mall just like that fat guy at Christmas. This bunny also often presides over parties and egg rolling contests. They are often surprised when their children are terrified of this gigantic thing with huge stand-up ears, enormous eyes, and weirdo smile. That would scare the crap out of me, that's for sure!
To combat this fear, the humans thought up an ingenious plan: make bunnies out of chocolate. The children can then eat the Easter bunny and vanquish their fear. At least that's what I think. Ghostwriter found a video of her favorite candy store, Stevers, located in Rochester NY. Watch carefully and you'll see some chocolate bunnies.
We'll take a quick break here for Joey dog's annual warning about doggies and chocolate.
Hello ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to take this time to remind you that chocolate, while delicious and safe for humans to eat, is a DEADLY POISON to doggies because it contains a chemical called theobromine. Please make sure to keep all chocolate Easter candy away from your doggie. Instruct your children at a young age to never give chocolate to a doggie. If your doggie accidentally ingests some chocolate, pour one ounce of hydrogen peroxide down the doggie's throat. This will make him or her throw up. Then proceed to your nearest veterinary hospital as quickly as possible.
Well, I hope I have not left you as confused as I am about this human holiday. However you celebrate Easter, we at The Daily Bone hope you have a wonderful time filled with peace and joy with your friends and family. And don't forget: keep that chocolate away from your doggies! You can give him or her a marshmallow peep, or some jelly beans though. Oh and we'd be glad to eat up all of those hard boiled eggs. Just saying.