This is a TDB news flash. I'm your outraged reporter Chester L. W. Stephens.
Do you see this mess? There are clumps of leaves all over the ground under our silver maple tree.
These are fresh cut ends of small branches. Look, they're even piled up in the crotch of the tree!
Who do you suppose is capable of such carnage?
This happens every year in June! The Evil Squirrel Cartel tries to build their headquarters up in our silver maple tree so they can be close to our pear tree and bird feeders. Drat those miserable, mammering, motley-minded, miscreants! (Don't make me get out my Shakespearean insult kit!)
Those scrabble tailed dirt digging moldy thieving tree ruining seed stealing rabble rousing sneaky flea bitten louse ridden … (for more insults, see video below.)
Get out the hose and blast them to kingdom come!
Oh, I know … Ghostwriter is working until 11:30pm tonight. I'll ask her to go out and blast that squirrel nest when she gets home. That should scare the nuts out of those screwy squirrels! Hehehe!