I just found out that the Evil Squirrel Cartel has invaded the White House vegetable garden because the humans who do the work there have been furloughed. In an article in the New York Post (link below) it says squirrels are eating the First Lady's tomatoes! That's outrageous! First of all, I've never in my entire career seen squirrels eat tomatoes! Neither has my venerable associate Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens. Second, why does the First Lady need helpers? Why aren't she and her daughters, and her husband too for that matter, out there taking care of it? It's her garden. Third, White House doggies Bo and Sunny, why aren't you out there chasing the squirrels away? For heaven's sake, doggies are the original homeland security experts! Guarding the house and property are your highest and most honorable priorities.
In case you White House doggies need a refresher course on guarding property, here are a few instructional photographs of Joey dog and me doing our jobs.
|Here I am after conducting a perimeter sweep of the back yard.|
|Here is Joey dog guarding the hawthorn berries so that the squirrels don't eat them all.|
|Here is Joey dog eating a cauliflower leaf from the compost pile so that … actually, I don't know why he does that.|
|Here I am doing a visual scan for squirrels in the hawthorn tree.|
|Munch munch munch. It's top secret.|
|No tree escapes my thorough inspection. I am proud to say there are no squirrels in this yard today!|