Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Very First TDB

Welcome to The Daily Bone. I am your distinguished doggie host, Chester L. W. Spaniel, chairman of the Squeaky Party.

I have been writing The Daily Bone since the Fall of 2012. I sent it to a select group of friends, who have now become loyal fans. For the benefit of those just signing on to TDB, here is a little history.

Back during the presidential elections, my humans and I were sitting around watching the news. There were stories going on and on about the Democratic Party, the Republican Party, and the whatever else party. They all had their opinions on how to solve the most important problems facing our great nation. Suddenly, someone said, "what if Chester ran for president?" I had been sitting quietly, admiring my favorite squeaky ball, when someone suggested that I could be the chairman of the Squeaky Party. Now, how would the Squeaky Party solve all those terrible problems? With squeaky toys, of course! The more we thought about it, the more ideas we came up with on exactly how squeaky toys could save the world. So, here is the very first edition of The Daily Bone:

This is The Daily Bone, and I’m your humble host, Chester L. W. Spaniel, chairman of the Squeaky Party. Glad you could make it today

Today I want to present a section of an interview I had with the national news channel Fox (foxes are doggies too!) in which I was asked to express the views of the Squeaky Party on various important issues. Here are some highlights from this conversation:

Fox: What is your plan for improving the flagging economy and providing jobs?
Chester: More squeaky toys! Increasing the production of squeaky toys will provide jobs and create important items for trade with other countries.

Fox: What about the unrest in the Middle East?
Chester: Send them squeaky toys. They will soon forget what they are so angry about!

Fox: What is your solution to rising gasoline prices?
Chester: Stay at home and play with your doggie.

Fox: What should we do about nuclear weapons?
Chester: Fill the missiles with squeaky toys instead.

Fox: Is there anything that you believe can't be achieved by squeaky toys?
Chester: No.

Fox: Some critics might say this is an unrealistic approach.
Chester: What's more realistic than playing with squeaky toys?

And that's a memo. 

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