Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Sparrows Inc.

Hello everyone. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your dedicated doggie reporter 
Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

Long time readers may remember that I've maintained an excellent business relationship with Sparrows Incorporated for several years. The CEO is Mr. Mortimer Seedcruncher, with whom I have negotiated multiple business deals regarding the birdie feeders, and real estate ventures in the bushes nearby. In fact, for the last few winters, my humans provided a giant pile of sticks between the fence and the wooden glider which Sparrows Inc. leased as a deluxe winter lodge.

Here's a picture from last January of the Sparrows Inc Winter Lodge in the Sticks. It doesn't look like much, but it provided excellent protection from high winds, snow, and predators, and could accommodate dozens of sparrows.

In return for providing birdie seeds and shelter, Sparrows Inc. gave me season tickets to all their events, like the Sparrow Spring Convention, the Sparrow Kick-boxing Finals (those little birdies can really kick **s and there's no holds barred!) and Sparrow Chirping Contests. 

However, this year, my humans have decided they were no longer going to create a giant stick pile in the back yard. They also did not fill the birdie feeders for the last several weeks to try to keep the Evil Squirrel Cartel away from our pear tree. And then, on top of that, they had the gigantic silver maple tree cut down! I was worried Sparrows Inc. might choose another site for their business and real estate plans. I didn't see or hear them for a long time.

But last week, my ghostwriter finally decided to fill up the feeders again. Suddenly, hundreds of sparrows appeared in my back yard!

A young sparrow came up to the window box feeder and introduced himself as Mr. Seedcruncher's grandson Phillip. He told me that he was in charge of negotiations this year. He thanked me for the seeds, and told me that Sparrows Inc. would be glad to lease the arborvitae bushes for their annual entertainment productions.

He also told me that the umbrella-shaped tree next door would provide an alternate venue for the Sparrows Inc. Winter Retreat. It's only a short flit away from the seeds!

Well, I'm glad that's all settled!


  1. Glad your bird contracts are back on. We have a variety of bird renters in the bushes and trees that are quite active. We contract out for squirrel control to keep them from bothering the birds. The birds love us so much they fly into the air for an air show when we fly off the porch to greet them during their daily worm feeds. It is a glorious site to see them take flight.

  2. The squirrel cartel is relentless in our yard.

  3. I am so glad that the sparrows are back and have made other arrangements for the winter. Yummmmm...pears!

  4. Whew...We are happy to hear a new contract could be negotiated!!
    Rosy, Jakey & Arty

  5. Those moochers were just watching and waiting until ghostwriter decided to refill the feeders! You'll be busy once again, Chester!

  6. Lady kept her feeders filled most of the summer and attracted some different birds. It was nice.

  7. We're glad to hear your sparrows are back and they weren't too mad at the recent changes.

  8. We are very happy you were able to reach an agreement with the birds. Just remember what the man said: "Keep your eye on the sparrow."

  9. Whew! I was worried about the future of Sparrows Inc. and all their events!

  10. Glad your sparrow entertainment are back!

  11. Oh good, I'm glad your entertainment is still around!

  12. Jumpin' catfish Chester every sparrow in W. NY tweeted to their relatives your GPS coordinates

    I do so love feeding birds. Happy Bird TV
    Hugs Cecilia

  13. OMD Chester we have no sparrows in your yard!!
    Mitzie chases them all away.
    Thank goodness they have a safe place to go
    at your house.
    xo Astro and Mitzie

  14. That's good. Nothing is sadder than birds not coming back.

    Klem, Mara

  15. Wow, Chester!! We find sparrows everywhere but never got a chance to negotiate anything. Great report as always!!

  16. Your gang of sparrows are pretty adaptable, Chester! Good thing they saw the potential around the things that remain in your yard!