Thursday, July 6, 2017

Critter Patrol

Good evening everyone. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your tireless doggie reporter
Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

I hope everybody had a great 4th of July! I'm kind of glad it's over. All the noise was getting to me.

You can tell summer's in full swing around here. There are critters everywhere! Check out this big fat bunny! This is not the first time I've seen this particular bunny. He seems to frequent the next door neighbor's yard in the evening hours. I'm thinking he's living under the stump and roots of that big spruce tree that fell over last winter. 

I barked at him, and he hopped nonchalantly to our front yard, where he knew I couldn't get him. The front yard is beyond my jurisdiction. 

But he's not the only varmint on my property. Dad found a dead shrew next to a bush while he was mowing the lawn. I didn't get to personally inspect the shrew this time. But I'll remind you doggies and kitties out there to be careful. Shrews have a venomous bite They're quite nasty and sometimes hunt and eat mice and snakes.

Moving on to my daily rounds, I found freshly cut leaves on the ground under my silver maple tree.

That can only mean one thing: the Evil Squirrel Cartel is trying to rebuild their central command station in my tree! I will now direct your attention to the messy pile of leaves in the crook of the tree in the photo below: 

That's a classic example of squirrel architecture! They try this every year so that they can keep a strategic eye on the birdie feeders, the pear tree, and the hawthorn berries by day, and dream about grand larceny at night.

Of course you know, this means war. 

Ghostwriter immediately got out the hose and blasted it. This usually convinces the squirrels to vacate the premises, especially when they get a water cannon shower after dark!

In the meantime, I'll be on heightened alert at my drive-through barking window. That bushy tail varmint has been snarfing seeds from the ground under the feeder all morning! I must have chased him ten times already today!


There's been another crummy chipmunk at large too. (Funny how quickly one moved into the vacant real estate after the previous owner got himself stuck behind the garage wallboard and croaked! No honor among thieves I guess.) As you might remember from a previous report, the Conniving Chipmunk Consortium members are notorious for getting doggies in trouble. I chased that new chipmunk up the drain pipe and then kept him there, while I barked and scratched until ghostwriter had to physically drag me away!

Stinky little chipmunk!

I take my patrol duties very seriously. But it's tough being the only doggie in the Double Doggie Homeland Security System (where barking is always free.) These days I really miss my esteemed late associate Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel. But I have to get some rest sometime. 

Whoa! Did somebody say squirrel?


I even saw a National Guard helicopter making rounds over my yard! Those squirrels are going to be in big trouble now! 

Anyway, I got some good pay for my efforts. 

If you wish to read more about the scurrilous scoundrels in my yard, please check out: 


  1. OMD! YOu have a host of intruders to take care of! Pierre is busy with the squirrels and moles in our backyard. I would LOVE to eradicate the moles because they seriously tear up my yard. I have never seen a shrew before! Very creepy. LOL!

  2. You called the National Guard for the squirrels? Good for you. Squirrels don't like rotor wash.

    Abby Lab

  3. I know what you mean Chester about getting a chippie in the drainpipe...I did that too...sheesh, petcretary blockedmit off, removed the pipd and took chippie to the backwoods...shucks, I thought I was going to have a snack.

    We have oodles of those rascals here now that petcretary has bird feeders all around here. And red Squirrels and some black ones too. And cowbirds and starlings eat us out of house and home...well, maybe not, but they sure can empty a feeder in a hurry. At least with the stovepipe arrangement on the poles, no rodents can get to the feeders...

    Have fun chasing your varmints, Chester! Petcretary says I am too tottery to chase em away now...that's why there are so many...sigh...getting elderly has some drawbacks...Zzzzzzz.....

  4. Oh dude, you gots TONS of daytime critters!!!! Ours are mostly nocturnal, so I can't keep my yardie as secure as you. sigh. Butts, you, you have to me on guard all day! Good job Chester!
    Oh, and don't lets any of those vermin gets you into troubles....
    Ruby ♥

  5. I love that blurry pic of you zooming to protect your tree, Chester! It tells me just how fast you were moving! I am impressed! I don't think I've ever met a shrew before. Mom says, thank goodness!

  6. You do take your work very seriously, C. I think you were wise to activate the National Guard. You're clearly under siege over there. You're only one man, after all...

    Love and licks,

  7. Its a good job you are there to keep those Cartels under control Chester….I really needed your expertise up in My Tower….those pesky Squirrels had run amuck while I was away!!!!!
    Loves and licky ksises
    Princess Leah xxx

  8. Good you are there to take care of those critters!
    We have baby birds!!!!!!
    Hazel & Mabel

  9. Hey Chester...MOL MOL MOL we like GW's eviction skills! Bravo to her! I don't think our hose will reach how far up we have a nest but you can bet we'll be using that method next low nest
    Hugs madi your bfff

  10. That chipmunk has nothing better to do than aggravate
    Lily & Edward

  11. That certainly was a well-deserved bone. If I were ever to use Ghostwriter's method of eviction, I think I would be absolutely soaking wet and the squirrels would have their house undamaged. She must have a better aim then me!

    Mara from Norway

  12. We don't think we have ever met a shrew, and we hope we never do. Now about that plump bunny - are you sure that HE isn't an expecting SHE?

    Woos - Lightning and Misty

  13. Sounds like you have your work cut out for you this summer Chester...let us know if you need us to send reinforcements!
    Arty & Jakey

  14. You sure have a tough job keeping all those critters in line. Get your rest because there will be more work to do tomorrow.