Patient Times Mash-up

Hello everybody. This is The Daily Bone and I’m your enduring doggie reporter
Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

My ghostwriter is still working some long hours at the nursing home. My unruffled colleague Joseph (Joey dog) and I have been trying to be good and not too demanding of her time. So we doggies decided to just do a series of short reports today. 

HOLIDAY DECORATING

We have been checking out all our friends’ doggie blogs and seeing how their holiday season is proceeding. We haven’t had time for any decorating yet. But our convivial associate in Florida, Miss Charlee Puppy has sent us a report on the state of decoration at her house. 

(Personally, we kind of like that sort of minimalist design strategy.)

LITTLE BIRDIES

There are lots of little birdies coming to our window feeder. A whole bunch of chickadees have been hopping around in the trees. They usually flit to the feeder, take one seed, then flit back to the tree to crack the seed open. Several Juncos are foraging on the ground. We saw this little guy this morning. Mom says it’s a wren.

We are happy to report that the Evil Squirrel Cartel has been noticeably absent, at least so far today. Joey dog is quite happy about this. It means he won’t have to get his feet all muddy chasing those nasty buggers.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TOYS

Dad cleaned off the top of the fridge and found an old toy from last year. I spent a couple hours disassembling it. Well that’s my contribution to the holiday decorating!

Ta-dah!

ADVENTURES WITH ANGUS 

Our good friend Angus sent us a few photos and a brief report.

Hi.

I had to stay at the doggie spa while my humans went to visit Oma for Thanksgiving. That was kind of depressing. 

I imagine that nutty squirrel was having a field day in my back yard while I was gone. 

But now they’re back and I’m wondering when I’m going to be getting that big turkey leg. I hope it didn’t get lost in transit! 

FOOD COLUMN

Now it's time for Joey dog's food report. 

Grapefruit. Yuck!

THE FUNNY BONE PAGE

BACK TO WORK NOW

Well, that’s about it for TDB for now. Mom has to go to work yet again at 3pm. We doggies will carry on, and maintain our reconnaissance missions in the back yard, and keep Dad company while Mom is working. She says today will be straight overtime; and she’ll get enough money for it to buy us some yum yum treats and toys! 

You can be sure that if anything else happens around here, we'll be the first to report it! 

Flat-lining

This another unauthorized TDB, and you know who I am already.

All right. So my ghostwriter got up this morning at 3am, and then went to work. She didn’t come home till 4pm! So now she is certified, zombified, and flat-lining. My esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel and I have some suggestions about what she should do:

Get it?

Got it?

Good.

Untouchable

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I’m your heartsick doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel.

After the addition of a new squeaky toy to my collection yesterday, I decided it was time to do inventory. My ghostwriter took everything out of my storage facility for me to look at.

Indeed, I have a vast and wonderful collection; and I know each toy and who gave it to me. The squeakers and stuffings have all been removed, and all of them are well chewed. I have spent hours of contentment with these toys. 

But when I look up, I see this:

Isn't it beautiful? For some mysterious reason, nobody will ever take this enchanting, fluffy squeaky toy off its lofty shelf and give it to me! I’m certain it is in dire need of a squeaky-ectomy. 

No matter how much I serenade and bark and whine, it never comes down! 

Yes, I know my esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel thinks I’m a weirdo.

A-woooooooooo! Bark bark bark! 

It's simply … untouchable! Now, if you'll excuse me, I’ll just have to retire to my doggie bed and sulk for a while. 

Harumph!

Joey dog here. Perhaps my woebegone associate should focus on more attainable goals, like samples of lunch: a delectable, juicy pear, and toasty grilled cheese sandwich. I am rarely disappointed. Yum.

Emergency Squeaky Toy Surgery!

Hello. This is a TDB news flash. I’m your ebullient doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel.

This afternoon my Jason human brought home a present for me! A squeaky toy! Wow! This toy had two separate squeakers inside of it, and was in serious condition. I set to work immediately to surgically remove these deadly squeaky components. It was touch and go there for a while, as a yum yum dinner commenced promptly after the gift giving. My erudite colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel reprimanded me for neglecting my food watching duties, until he realized he would now be the sole recipient of any dropped morsels or left-overs whilst I remained focused on the surgery. 

Please hold all calls, nurse. This could take a while.

After about thirty minutes, I managed to extract the first malignant squeaky component. Wow that’s a relief! Now give me back my patient! This is not the time for photo ops! 

I will now proceed to excise the second and larger squeaky part. This could be dangerous. 

I have now exposed the tumor. Almost done and the patient is doing fine.

Success!

I'm pleased to announce the patient will make a full recovery.

True to its capricious squeaky toy nature, the rolly-roundy squeaky component, once removed from its victim, immediately retreated under the nearest chair! 

Both patient and doctor will now get some much needed rest. Don’t worry. My new and improved squeaky toy will be carefully guarded and inducted into my storage facility with the rest of my beloved, cherished, and raggedy toys. 

Fast Post

Hi everybody. This is The Daily Bone and I'm Chester L. W. Spaniel along with
Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel.

Mom got called into work early and has to be there by 11am. Then she'll work till 11:30pm. So now we will write the fastest TDB post ever! This is what we'll be doing all day: 

We'll be hanging out with Dad and catching up on our sleep. See you tomorrow!