Saturday, January 5, 2019

Flash Back: Oh Lamentations

Hello everyone. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

As you can see, we had a very sunny and warm day, uncharacteristic of the usual cold wintry weather of this time of year in Western New York. 

Other than that, there has been nothing more exciting happening around here. So I took a look back at some previous posts from the last few years on this date, and found this gem from 2014 entitled, "Oh Lamentations" that tickled my funny bone. 

Here it is, word for word: 

Greetings and good evening my hale, and noble readers! This is The Daily Bone (aka: The Recurring Ossified Structural Component) and I am your humble doggie host Chester L. W. Spaniel. Having recently perused new tome by author Stephen R. Donaldson, I have gleaned a multitude of wondrous new vocabulary words. My most loyal and enthusiastic followers are well aware of my penchant for innovative language. I am thus challenged to put these words to good use, and hope to be neither bombastic, tedious, nor long-winded.

In the caliginous twilight typical of this northern clime, spanning from winter solstice to vernal equinox, I am much aggrieved to have misplaced an eldritch squeaky ball of great value. It is with a monumental amount of self-objurgation that I admit to having been absent minded to the placement of said squeaky ball, when I was interrupted from my scouting mission by a lone pedestrian who happened to wander along the pathway in front of my vast demesne, to whom I gave forth a stentorian warning. Then, to my utter dismay, I perceived that the mantle of gelid and clinquant snow had swallowed the precious orb without a trace. Upon requesting assistance of my erudite canine associate, Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel, I was given a lugubrious frown, and an asseveration that the object of my desire was indeed effectively hidden, and would probably not appear again until the onset of Spring. Despite the exigency of the situation, I was summoned to return to the shelter of my humble abode, where I paced in mounting worry and misery to the point of total prostration. 

Oh woe is me! My most excellent and treasured prize, you are but a lambent eidolon to my aching heart, forever lost in the pellucid drifts of frozen water vapor. But my unquenchable and stalwart friend, Joey dog, upon reconsidering his previous doubt, attempted to be somewhat of a salvific to my lamentable plight. He assured me that, considering the characteristic ebb and flow of cold air to this region, there will soon be a thaw, and my beloved squeaky ball will be uncovered in all its delightful charm. In the meantime, we will endeavor to discover it with the puissance of our canine sense of smell. If all else fails, I should just take a chill pill. 



  1. Awesome prose. Bravo!

    Abby Lab

  2. You would do very well on the SAT tests:) We have had a couple of nice sunny days too. Mother Nature seems to get very confused lately.

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

  3. Oh such froufrou why I would think I was in the Literature Department of a swanky college. December for us has been better weather than November. Did you take the Chill Pill are you on the weed?
    Your Friend
    Sweet William The Scot

  4. Hemingway, Faulkner and Dickens don't have anything on you

  5. It was sunny and 48F here on Saturday. Wow, we are in January?? Feels like March! Soon enough we will be delivered a dose of wintery reality, we are sure...BOL!

    That was a fun flashback!

  6. Dear Chester...stay by the phone...I'm sure a top Literary Agent in the Big Apple will be calling soon.
    You are such a funny guy and it tickled me too
    Hugs Cecilia

  7. You are very eloquent about losing your ball in the snow. We wish we had enough snow on the ground right now to lose a ball in it. At least we did have that day of sunshine recently.

  8. Oh my. I think I'm going to have to address you as Professor Chester today!

  9. One interrogative persists, my compadre. Did you ever locate the orb?

  10. Pffft. Now I has to spend the afternoon with Webster and read and re-read and read it again to unnerstand all what you said up there!
    Dougie Dog

  11. My goodness! You are very studious sounding here
    Hazel & Mabel

  12. Awesome! I think I understood about half! Hope you found your ball back though...

    Mara from NI

  13. Hi There!

    Yes Mum made me the magnificent Mash potato and peas cake - it was very yummy!

    Its nice to be back in blogville - my new years resolution is to keep in touch with you all in 2019!#

    lots of love and licks from your furiend Frank (and baby brother Maxie Moo) xxxxxxxxxxx

  14. Oh yes Chester, you are one eloquent writer of the prose! (I don't knows what that means, butts Ma says that you ROCK the literary!) Keep searchin' for that orb my pal....
    Ruby ♥

  15. We are going to have to fetch a dictionary and try again. BOL! Great job, Chester.