Friday, September 23, 2016

Serious Talk About Poop

Hello fellow doggies. This is a special TDB report. I'm your loquacious doggie commentator Chester L. W. Spaniel, and we're going to get right down to business. Warning humans, if you have a particularly delicate constitution, this post is about poop.

I recently saw this ad: 

You have GOT to be kidding me! 

The humans are obsessed with picking up poop.

Well, I can understand they wouldn't want to step in poop everywhere, and it might contaminate local water sources, and fragile back yard ecosystems. But seriously, they're taking one of the world's most biodegradable substances and putting it into a plastic bag that will then go to a landfill where it will remain for all eternity!

But animals all over the world poop on the ground. Whatever did the dinosaurs do with their doo doo? Did you know that there are scientists who study fossilized dinosaur poop. They have a special scientific name for it called—and I'm not making this up—crapolyte. Oops, I mean coprolite. They can reveal literally tons of information about what dinosaurs ate and where they lived. 

To doggies, poop can tell the exact same things. Hmmm. What did you have for dinner yesterday? 

I got some steak scraps and a piece of broccoli in addition to my delicious and nutritious yum yum crunchy meatballs dry doggie food by Iams that makes you poop less. Doggies in this house have been eating this for years uncounted, and have lived long and healthy lives. 

Doughnuts. Yum!

Anyway, getting back to the original subject, the humans have a complex about poop. They never want anyone else to know that they poop too. Why else would they go into a little secret room with the special swirling water bowl in it, and shut the door, and turn on the fan when they have to make a poop?

You're not fooling me! I know what's going on in there! And I know what you had for dinner yesterday too!

And I bet every one of you doggies out there has a human who's cringing right now after reading this post! Or else they're laughing out  loud. If so, my job is done. See you later! 

Did you say "out?"

For more on this subject see:


  1. CHester.............................mol mol mol just just cracked my mom up she nearly fell off the chair. And what was even funnier she just came home from Walmart dancing and singing...about all the extra poop bags she had for me. She told me I could keep on pooping. Like I needed permission. MOL See I have this special plastic trash can that is made just for plastic bags with two handles. She can get a gazillion bags in it and there is where the poop she scoops goes. We were running low on the bags but not any more. MOL do you have a camera in our house.
    Hugs madi your bestie

  2. Excellent post about a serious matter - hee . . . hee . . .

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  3. Ok, so my pawrents axfurly have sum of that Poopot-or-ee stuff an yes, it really wurks an smells nice.

    Great post!

  4. BOL. Chester, you made us all laugh a lot!!!

    Woos - Ciara and Lightning

  5. Bwa haa haa! oh too funny!
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

  6. BOLBOLBOL....Humans can be soooooo silly, especially when it comes to poop!
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

  7. There's never a dull moment around your blog, Chester!

  8. Chester, for the first time in a very long while I am truly speechless. Thank you for publishing this valuable information on a very timely subject.
    PS: what are the sources for your research in this amazing article? ��

  9. What a brilliant post, Chester! We are still smiling away here☺ Thank you!

  10. BOL, Chester! It's true, my pawrents are OBSESSED with picking up poop! And not just mine, but other doggies around here whose pawrents are courteous enough to leave it behind. Why can't my pawrents understand how much I like to sniff it! I even like to eat it!! My pawrents are so narrow-minded, they've even started making me wear a nose-cage on my walks, so I never get even the tiniest taste. OUTRAGEOUS!!

  11. We think our pawrents obsession with all things poop is a bit silly too. Since we live surrounded by woods (that we own) our pawrents just chuck our poop into the woods. We bet the fox and coyotes in our area think it's a competition or something.

  12. OMD!! Now petcretary is going to stay awake the rest of the night thinking and maybe dreaming of poopy material like that found right here in your blog Chester!! Oh, Poop!! And funny thing is, while the unfurs in our furmilies don't like to discuss their own poop issuances, they like your ghostwriter who work in health care are so rude and bold as to record and even save some of the poop of the peeps they care for! Imagine that!! OMD! Did you know that Chester?? Ask her sometime:) Bwahahaha!!