Bark bark bark bark bark! This is The Daily Bone and I'm your vociferous doggie reporter
Chester L. W. Spaniel.
Today I have a very serious subject to talk about: barking. My friends at Small Tales
foleymonsterandpocket did a post on February 9th about their humans using various contraptions to try to curb their dutiful barking, and the unintended consequences that ensued. It got me thinking about barking in general.
Loyal readers will know that I'm the only remaining member of the Double Doggie Homeland Security System, since my esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel went across the Rainbow Bridge last July. Here are a few photos of us, below.
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| We were an excellent team! Winter … |
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| … Spring … |
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| … Summer … |
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| … and Fall … |
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| … outside and indoors! |
I've been working very hard to carry out my duties to protect my house, my yard, and my humans who dwell here from all threats, invaders, and various criminal activity.
In fact, I have a whole range of barks for different situations. For example, when I'm certain that aliens are at the door and ready to break in and murder my humans right this very moment, I have my "I'm a big boy" bark. When my humans come home from shopping, I have my "hey you're home and no one broke into our house while I was on duty!" yipping bark. Then there's my normal, everyday bark that I use to broadcast breaking news, like, "somebody three blocks away just slammed their car door," or, "the mail truck has arrived on our street" or, "there's a person walking by on the sidewalk."
Yes indeed, barking is serious business for us doggies!
I intend to keep on barking whether my humans like it or not.
In fact, it is my dog given responsibility to keep my homeland safe, and crack down on anyone or anything with harmful intentions from getting in without a good barking at.
I will also have you know that I make no discrimination between species. I will bark at the Evil Squirrel Cartel just as vigorously as the Empire Heating and Cooling repair man.
Furthermore, carrying on the tradition of my highly respected and revered associate Miss Ginger, AKA Princess Poo Poo, who crossed the Bridge in 2010, I reserve the right to thoroughly interrogate any strangers my humans allow in the house. If they come bearing yum yum doggie treats, and then sit down on the sofa and pet me, they will be immediately added to my best friends roster, and be welcome at any time.
I will also make it known that according to my contract, and local zoning laws, I never stay outside unsupervised for long periods of time, nor am I allowed to bark continuously and annoy the neighbors (even though the guy around the block with the noisy white pick-up truck drives by at all hours of the day and night and annoys us!)
I hope I have made myself perfectly clear on this issue.
Now, if you'll excuse me, the UPS truck just came around the corner. Bark bark bark bark bark!
Please enjoy some barking related comics.
Take It From the Tinkersons
The Other Coast
