Thursday, January 22, 2015

Vocabulary Practice

Salutations steadfast readers. This is The Daily Bone (aka The Quotidian Skeletal Unit) and I am your verbose canine commentator Chester L. W. Stephens. 


I realized that there has not been much going on here at home lately. We have entered the typical January doldrums in which the temperature hovers in the 20s and we have alternating clouds and sun, and maybe a sprinkling of snow. We spend our doggie time sleeping, chasing squirrels, and hanging around with Dad. So I decided that if I don’t have a scintillating new story to relate to my readers, then I’ll fancy up a treatise about our daily routine with some amazing vocabulary words. As you know, I love learning new words, especially if they are obscure or arcane.


Here’s a pusillanimous sneak thief. Note the bushy empennage and well rounded hind end of this voracious seed scavenger. He obviously has not been starving this winter! He’s probably amassed his poundage by feasting on stolen bird seeds!


Of course, my erudite colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens and I responded with a barrage of stentorian barking, and gave chase to the gluttonous scoundrel!

“Bark bark bark bark! Be gone from our domain immediately you scurrilous rapscallion! If we catch you we shall shred your ratty fur, remove your squeaker, and then spend a leisurely afternoon masticating your vacuous noggin! In addition, our humans will concoct a toothsome stew with your meaty parts! Woof woof woof bark bark bark woof woof!”


Upon vanquishing that imbecilic nut wrangler, we noticed the mail truck had parked across the street. To our amazement, the mail man was attired in short pants! It is 25° out here! Oh dear! We offered him a lively admonishment:


“Bark bark bark bark bark woof woof bark woof bark bark bark! You sir will freeze your derriere if you don’t dress more warmly! Bark bark yip bark bark woof woof. If slide your gelid, Siberian kiester into bed, your wife will promptly kick it right out the window! Surely she did not marry a frozen ham! Bark bark bark! Oh, but thank you for delivering our mail today!”


With the squirrels in retreat, and the mailman hurrying home in search of more elongated pantaloons, we took some time to ponder the firmament. Here the pearlescent disc of the sun shines through the pellucid clouds. 

We then returned to the warmth and comfort of our abode only to discover Dad had awakened the screaming dragon machine! We doggies retreated to the unassailable fastness that is our stenographer’s office. Goodness knows why Dad insists on using this obstreperous hellion to suck up dog hair and dirt from every niche and crevice. The dust bunnies must be mighty indeed, as well as tenacious, well-armed, and belligerent, if such a beast must be employed to elicit their removal. 


After a herculean struggle, the screeching mechanical dust sucker finally finished its deafening undertaking and fell into silence. You see? It’s not so horrendous now! I can stand right next to it! I’m a brave, indomitable doggie!




Indeed, Chester, you are the most lion-hearted canine and a palaverous pundit as well! 


16 comments:

  1. I think I'd better get me a dictionary so I can practice my stentorian barking!
    Lives and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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  2. That was some bark fest and as for the vacula you are brave as I say run and hide. Have a fabulous Friday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  3. You sure do have a large vocabulary, Chester. We are impressed!

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch and Molly

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  4. Thank you so much for not being ambiguous in your diatribe about the doldrums of winter ! Pray for an early spring !

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  5. I saw that title an jus knew I'd need Dick Shun Airy or at least the Thesaurus Rex.

    Good thing yuv got lots of piccies so's I can kinda figgur stuff out!
    Bol!

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  6. You do Pawsess an Impressive Vocabulary, my furend...

    BUTT we could have done WITHOUT seeing and hearing about that Evil VACULA.... it was even WORSE than the Squirrel stuffs...

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  7. HA ah! this was fun. Mom laughed at your colorful description of the mailman's frozen keister!
    hugs
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

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  8. Haha - very wordy indeed!

    Shorts? In the winter! OMD! O.O

    Monty and Harlow

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  9. You gotta let those tree rats know who's boss
    Lily & Edward

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  10. Wow, I am gonna have to read this again to decipher all those new words I just learned. What is with your mailman? My mom works in the Post Office up here, and she would not be allowed to dress like that, BOL!

    Thanks again for the vocabulary lesson!

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    Replies
    1. I guess he's one of those guys who are never cold. Our Jason human is like that. His friends call him Toasty.

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    2. I guess he's one of those guys who are never cold. Our Jason human is like that. His friends call him Toasty.

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  11. Crikey ........ *Muuuuuuuuuuuuum ..... get the dictionary. Chester's off again!!!!!!*

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  12. We want a dictionary too lol. But you guys are so clever.

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  13. My boss boy too is one fur the shorts if'n he can get away with it.BOL!
    And bare feet in sandals even, OMD!
    Unfurbro at least is wiser, and wears these huge big feet on top of his tootsies, aka slippers, but they are more like clown's boats that he has on...

    Loved all the wordiness; growlmy knew *some* of them, BOL!

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