Monday, July 6, 2015

Monday News

Good day friends and fans. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your vigilant doggie reporter Chester L. W. Stephens. We have a number of topics to discuss, so let's begin right away.


First, the Evil Squirrel Cartel is up to no good again! This morning there were not one, not two, but three squirrels in our yard. It was like a squirrel circus! 


The Double Doggie Homeland Security System has concluded that the object of this invasion is not the bird seeds—as you can see the feeder is empty—but the pear tree! Indeed several small pears have been found in the grass with bite marks and chunks chewed out of them. Here my esteemed associate and Doggie Chief Inspector, comestibles division, Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens has collected some as evidence, and will proceed with detailed forensic analysis.

Hmm. I count eight all together …

Meanwhile I looked for more clues. 

Joey! Why are you eating the evidence? 

Well, no sense in letting it go to waste! 


In other news, our Florida associate Miss Charlee's human placed a gigantic mattress in the living room.

What's this?

It smells like my humans.

Is this for me?

Yes, it's very comfortable. 

Yes, I would like a giant doggie bed in the middle of the living room! Thank you!


Miss Charlee is such a lucky doggie! 

But, hey, what's this? Another evil squirrel! Come along Special Agent Joey dog! 




Zoom! 

And now a word from our sponsor.

THE DOUBLE DOGGIE HOMELAND SECURITY SYSTEM

ON THE JOB 24/7

EATING THE EVIDENCE BEFORE THE PERPETRATORS DO

AND BARKING IS ALWAYS FREE! 

Mail's here! Bark woof woof woof bark bark woof bark woof bark bark woof woof woof woof bark woof! 


14 comments:

  1. OMD! we want a bed like that in the living room. Great job on the squirell patrol guys, Pears today, who knows what they will be after next
    hugs
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

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  2. I'm so happy I've got a good source for regular Monday News. The Squirrel Cartel is indeed getting bold, and by their invading the pear tree I think they are "branching out" (snort).

    Glad you are on the case, and no evidence is wasted.
    Abby Lab

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    Replies
    1. This year's anti-squirrel campaign will be a strong one. Last year, because of the weather, we had NO pears at all! We do love our pears!

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    2. This year's anti-squirrel campaign will be a strong one. Last year, because of the weather, we had NO pears at all! We do love our pears!

      Delete
  3. Those squirrels are getting too pushy - eating your pears is so rude!!! But how to stop them? The Ghostwriter needs to let the Double Doogie Homeland Security agents get out there faster!!!

    Woos - Ciara and Lightning

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  4. WTD??!!!!! Holy squirrel snots!!!! Guys, I am so glads you guys are on the job...this is unacceptable!!!!!! Tree rats invading YOUR yardie, eating YOUR pears! So not right. Wells, I guess if you HAVE to eats pears with squirrel drools on them, so be it, butts I would kick it back at them myself! BOL!!!! Okays, probably not..I do loves my fruit! ☺
    Stay vigilante guys, and don't let them sneak past you!
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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  5. OMD...That squirrel cartel is outta control!!!
    Smileys!
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

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  6. Too many y rats there at your den...

    We heard growlmy saying that they used to eat evfurrything in sight at her den when she was still living at her growing up den...and pears were also on their menu, also gooseberries, corn, and lots of other garden delight. Here they behead growlmy's echinachea and poppies...sigh...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooops...that should read: Too many tree rats.....

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  7. Those squirrels are getting really cheeky!!! The pears must be really tasty, they're attracting the squirrel in hoards
    Lots of work fur you guys to do on patrol!!!!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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  8. Stoopid squirrels are totally out of control! We bark at the mailman too, guys!

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch and Molly

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  9. Good job protecting the premises
    Lily & Edward

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