Sunday, August 31, 2014

Snooze-a-rama


Hi there friends. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your humble doggie host Chester L. W. Stephens along with my erudite associate Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens.


We were going to write a brilliant treatise on some really profound subject of urgent world importance, but our ghostwriter got called into work, and has to leave at 2:30pm. Drat! That work stuff is really getting in the way of The Daily Bone! But that's OK. She takes care of lots of little old ladies and gentlemen at the nursing home, some of whom are our most ardent fans.

Did you ever notice that the humans love to take photographs of sleeping doggies? We've seen several photos on other doggie blogs with curled up, sprawled out, or just plain comfy sleeping doggies. We thought it would be fun to have a tournament to see who can take the funniest sleeping doggie photo. Perhaps our doggie blog friends would post their own sleepy-dog pictures, and then (with their permission) I could post them all on TDB for a vote, or just a really big laugh. Anyway, here are some pictures of my slumbering performance from last night. Please let me know if you're interested in doing a contest, or just a collection of funny doggie photos with us.




Below is a link to an older TDB in which Joey dog and I demonstrate our snoozing prowess.

thedailybonebychester.blogspot.com/2014/01/olympic-sleeping.html

Saturday, August 30, 2014

X-Ray Vision

This is The Daily Bone and I’m your doggie reporter Chester L. W. Stephens. Welcome one and all. 


Did you ever wish you had x-ray vision? Wow, that would be a really great thing for a doggie to have! 


For example, do you see that big, tall row of arbor vitae a couple yards over? There must be a million sparrows in there, and more and more arrive every day! Every evening they congregate there and make the most ear-splitting noise! I can only imagine what it must be like to live in the house in that yard. I know, I know, my doggie friends. You would certainly bark at them and send them on their way. But I can’t run over there because doggies around here must be on a leash, and I’m sure our humans won’t cut across two backyards just so I can bark at the birds. But I would love to at least know exactly how many birdies are in there. If I had X-ray vision I could count them. It would also come in handy when hunting for mousies, and shrews, and squirrels. 

Get out of there, sneaky shrew!
Evil squirrel. Come down this instant! 
My esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens says it’s enough for him to have a superior sense of olfactory prowess. He can detect a yum yum from 100 yards away. 

Polish sausage, corn on the cob, and perogies. Yum. 
Pot roast, mashed potatoes, steamed vegies, and slightly lumpy gravy. Yum.
Did you ever notice that the humans are always making movies in which some or all of the characters have super powers? The villain usually has super powers too, but he uses them for evil. 

We doggies usually sleep through these.

Zing, zap, I am the Doctor!
Well, anyway, these bad guys (or girls) almost always want to destroy the world, or at least a specific city like New York City, or Tokyo, or London. Sometimes the entire galaxy is in jeopardy! 

(I am Groot.)
Often there are fantastic space ships with amazing futuristic super powers that the humans use to hunt down and destroy the evil-doers. Every one knows that cannot really happen. It's against the laws of physics. So are super heroes!

(Pow, barrroooom! Phasers on stun. Pew-pew-pew. Go to warp drive!) 
Then there are the ones where regular humans are fighting other regular humans, and the bad guys have some zealous, psychotic wish to destroy others just because they have different religious or political beliefs, and they use all kinds of horrible, barbaric, painful means to do so … Oh, wait a minute … that’s the news we’re watching … That stuff is really happening! 

To the window!! Zoooooom!
Ironing Board Man, where the heck are you???? 
Don't be silly, Chester. There's no such thing as Ironing Board Man! 
We're doomed …

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Chive Talking

Hello ladies and gentlemen, doggies and kitties. This is The Daily Bone and I’m your diligent doggie reporter Chester L. W. Stephens along with my trusty associate Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens.


As you know, we are devoted to keeping miscreant invaders out of our yard. Today I smelled a mousie in the chives. Although this was a brilliant attempt to hide its tracks in the pungent smell of the chives, my excellent olfactory ability enables me to detect even the slightest molecules of scent left by the Miscellaneous Mousie Mob operatives, as well as other small combatants such as members of the Conniving Chipmunk Consortium, or those annoying Toadstools-R-Us sales reps. (How many times have we told them? No soliciting!)




I barked and barked until my ghostwriter moved a few rocks for me. Other than spotting the fattest earthworm I've ever seen, no mousies could be found. Perhaps it’s already left the premises. Maybe it went behind the air conditioner unit. Persistence, that’s the word! I’ll follow this scent to the ends of the Earth if I have to … 




Ahem. Joey dog here. While Chester goofs around in the chives, I’d like to direct your attention to some strange pods that have been occupying a spot on the pavers right outside the back door. I’m not sure why they’re here instead of in the front yard where they belong.


I also found this leaf. It kind of looks like an autumn leaf, doesn’t it? 


You might have also noticed, around here at least, that the sky is changing. Being more than twelve years old, I’ve been able to discern patterns of the summer weather from one year to the next. It seems that after weeks of hot, humid, stormy weather in July and early August, it suddenly turns cooler and dryer. We have more of those high wispy clouds now. I suspect that this is what it will be like for the next few weeks.


The sunsets have been absolutely spectacular too. 


And now, back to Chester …


Thanks Joey dog. As you can see, I’m still tracking that mousie. But for some reason I can’t smell anything except chives!

Harumph! 

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

National Dog Day

Hello ladies and gentlemen and doggies. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your lovable doggie host Chester L. W. Stephens along with my amiable associate Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens.


Today is National Dog Day. Hooray, a whole day all about doggies!

We almost missed our publishing deadline today because our ghostwriter (and Dad too) has been away since Sunday afternoon, and just got home. It was a joyous occasion to have her (and Dad) back and we did our usual greeting ritual. After hugs and kisses, I grabbed my favorite squeaky ball and trotted around with it proudly. Joey dog jumped on the couch and rolled around on the doggie blanket. Why he does this, I have no idea. He's just weird that way. Every doggie knows the proper greeting should be the puppy prance with a favorite squeaky toy! We celebrated some more by barking vigorously at the pizza delivery guy and then enjoyed some samples of this delicious fare.

That's all we have to report for now.




Happy National Doggie Day! 


Friday, August 22, 2014

I caught it! I caught it!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you this TDB news flash. This is Chester L. W. Stephens your ferocious doggie reporter.

I went out to do my last rounds of security patrol and doggie business, when I heard and smelled a shrew in the rocks under the bird feeder. This time I caught it! I gave it a shake and it landed on the ground where my ghostwriter put a rock on it. Dad scooped it up, brought it into the garage, and placed it on the workbench for identification and an autopsy. Here's a photo of this momentous occasion:

Wow! What a great hunter I am!!! 
We now return you to your regularly scheduled bedtime!

Most Influential Blogger Nomination

Hello friends and doggies and kitties everywhere! This is The Daily Bone and I'm your humble doggie host
Chester L. W. Stephens along with my esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens.




We have been nominated for the Most Influential Blogger Award! Hooray! Many thanks to the ones that nominated us: Pipo and Minko, and Charlie (addresses below.) 



We were so surprised that there are kitties out there like Pipo and Minko who read our doggie blog. Perhaps we should have our friend and former house-mate Maddie (aka The Kitten Overlord or TKO) to do a column on The Daily Bone. 


Looking at the rules of this nomination, our ghostwriter was overjoyed to see we had to post a video! Wow! She collects music from all around the world and can whip up a play list in no time. But she couldn't decide which ONE video she liked the best. When we looked at the blogs of some of the other nominees, we saw that they featured their national anthem. Since we're still pumped from the Thunderbirds visiting our area and flying right over our house, we decided this video was a good one to show. 

                                     

But if you ask Joey and me to pick OUR favorite doggie video it has to be this one: 

                                     

Next we have to nominate ten more bloggers for this award and here they are in no particular order.

Aiko at http://kanjucha.blogspot.com/

Momo and Pinot at http://momo-cavalier.blogspot.com/

Frank at http://theadventuresofthetank.blogspot.com/

Freya at http://catflapcavalier.blogspot.com/
                                

Thank you for your beautiful photos, thoughtful and funny stories, great information, and help with blogging. (We're hoping our ghostwriter did this all correctly. How do we send the award nomination to these 10 bloggers?)

So after a lot of careful thought and consideration, here is the video we all agree is one of our favorites. We love these guys! (Watch for the doggies about halfway though!) But, the main reason we chose this video is because of it's over-riding message. In the midst of all the worrisome, frightening and even horrifying news lately we must always remember this:

WE ARE ALL ONE!

                                   

   And that's a memo. 

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Octopus Balls

Hello friends and gastropods (oops, I mean gastronomes) everywhere! This is The Daily Bone and I’m your culinary doggie reporter Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens.


Yesterday our humans went out for dinner to their favorite Japanese restaurant and we doggies had to sit at home and mope until they got back. However, they took pictures of their food and brought samples for me and my colleague Chester L. W. Stephens to try.

Hibachi Steak
Miso Soup
Bento Box 
Tako Yaki
Tako Yaki??!! What the heck is that? Well, after a bit of research I found out these are little balls with octopus inside; literally, octopus balls. Octopus are a type of mollusk. Their relatives include cuttlefish, squid, clams, mussels, scallops, oysters, slugs and snails. In my twelve years of epicurean experience, I have never found mollusks to be very tasty. In fact I can’t stand clams! Chester and I both hate slugs. Bleah! While these tako yaki smelled delicious, I didn’t want to risk biting into an octopus tentacle. However, I will not pass judgement on my humans. Everybody has something they don't like. So, in that spirit, I'd like to present a couple of videos and a link to the restaurant website. You can decide if you feel like eating tako yaki. And that's a memo. 

                           

                           

www.tokyorestaurantrochesterny.com/

Oh, and Chester tells me that our doggie blog, The Daily Bone, has been nominated for an award! Wow! Our ghostwriter has to go to work soon, so we only had time for a short article today. But tomorrow, she promises, she has a day off and will devote the appropriate amount of time and loving care to responding to this considerable honor. Thank you, good friends and doggies, and kitties too,  for reading and enjoying The Daily Bone!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014