Monday, August 18, 2014

A More Insidious Invader

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I’m your stalwart doggie reporter Chester L. W. Stephens. 

Last night we made a horrifying discovery! 
No, it was not under the rocks. 
No, it was not climbing the fence. 
No, it was not in the compost pile.
No, it was not walking along the sidewalk for us to bark at.
This is a monster that only comes out at night. And it’s the most horrifying, slime-dripping, voracious, persistent, and destructive fiend there is! It’s something we brave, valiant, bold, stout-hearted doggies cannot defend against. No, it’s not fleas and ticks either! Warning! Pictures of it may not be appropriate for the young or faint at heart. Please look away, and have the children leave the room for a moment. We will not be responsible for any injuries sustained if you fall out of your chair! We also advise you to have a basin available in case you retch. Are you ready? Then, here it is!


























OK, let’s give you a little bit of back story. My ghostwriter has a hosta plant right next to the back door. This is a very special plant because it blooms later in summer and has the most fragrant, beautiful, big white flowers. This plant is also very old. It was grown from a bit of transplanted roots from our Oma’s garden. How long it was growing at Oma's we don’t know; but it may well be over fifty years! It is indeed the most venerable and revered plant in the garden!


For some reason slugs prefer this plant above all the other plants, even the other hostas around the yard. In the middle of August, they begin to leave their tell-tale sign: irregular holes in the leaves. You can search all day long and not find one. But at night, it’s a completely different story. Last night our intrepid ghostwriter picked as many slugs as she could find off the leaves of this plant. She then placed them onto a single leaf for a group photo. Again, we warn you. This picture might be disturbing.


Please forgive us for the poor quality of this photo. It was taken late last night by the light of the back door lamp. After the photo session the slugs were gathered up, tossed into the compost bucket and then transported to the compost pile where they can work on the side of good rather than evil. We hope we haven’t ruined your lunch.


This morning my associate Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens and I conducted a search for more of these, disgusting, heinous little pests! But we couldn't find any. Never fear, though. We have a wonderful book that has lots of great ways to get rid of these little monsters.


14 comments:

  1. Shiloh-Lord of the Manor here. Diva Shasta had tue leeve the room - the old gal gave it a good try BUTT in the end, she just duzn't have the muster I haz. If thoze thingz wuz around here - I wood bark so loud an'feroshus - they wood shrivle up an'blow away.
    An'by the way - we saw your comment over at Molly the Wally'z blog an'u hazn't missed Christmas cuz that wood mean we had tue - that wuz last year;s Christmas.

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    1. I'm sure you would scare off those pesky slugs! My ghostwriter doesn't mind picking them off by hand and throwing them into the compost pile, despite the slime. Bleah! Trust me, they taste terrible!
      Thanks for telling me about Christmas. It seems these days holidays go by so fast we can hardly keep up!

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  2. We sure could do with that book over here. Our Hosta has been ravaged by slugs and snails. Grrrrr! Not even the pellets have worked. Have a marvellous Monday.
    Best wishes Molly

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    1. We found the best way to get rid of them is to pick them off by hand and relocate them elsewhere. Fortunately we don't have many snails! I hear that shrews like to eat them.

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  3. OMD We HATE Slugs...... sometimes they get STUCK in my FURS... SERIOUSLY... So be CAREFUL.

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    1. Stuck in your fur??? That sounds awful! We'll be real careful now. Thanks for telling us about that.

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  4. Oh, slugs, them are tasty! Oh, I mean, how awful! My momma hates them too. She makes a beer trap for them and it is quite effective. Strange as it sounds, slugs are extremely attracted beer, even the low-quality stuff. Dig a hole in the ground and place a large cup or bowl into the hole; use something that has steep sides so that the slugs can’t crawl back out when they’re finished. Fill the bowl about ¾ of the way full with beer, and let it sit overnight. In the morning, the bowl should be full of drowned slugs that can be dumped out for the birds to eat. Repeat this process until you’ve removed the majority of the slugs.

    My typist has a couple of other favorite ways to get of slugs, if you are interested. She has eradicated them from our flower bed, which is too bad because I thought they were tasty!

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    1. Thanks for the great advice! We've heard about using beer to trap slugs, but never tried it. (Probably because the beer usually gets all drunk up!) After picking off over two dozen of these little beasties the first night, there were only four of them the next night. If we continue to get more, the beer trap will be the next thing we'll try. (I'll bet the birdies will enjoy beer pickled slugs for dinner!) It's funny how they only go after that one plant! Joey dog and I do our best to pee on it too!

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  5. Oh yeah, we got those slimy things round here. Eatin holes in our hosta an crawlin all over the yard when the grass is damp in the mornin.
    Uh, we ain't so nice to rehome them anywhere. If she's got shoes on, Mommy steps on 'em. Yu could always torture them by sprinklin salt on 'em.

    Ewwwww.

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    1. Eeeeeewwwww! We actually tried that once, but then felt so bad that we decided we'll just relocate them instead. We never kill spiders either. We just catch them and put them outside where they belong. We only smush mosquitoes, and I take care of any flies that get in the house!

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  6. We don't really gots em round here, but momma says she are a fan of da salt circle round em. BOL!

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    1. We have a lot of those kinds of beasties because we get a lot of rain; and this summer's been more rainy than most.

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  7. Yuk!! Slugs ...... I didn't look at 'em! Mum did ..... she didn't like 'em. They've sure made a mess of those leaves, aye??
    That's a very beautiful plant and with all that history you gotta keep 'em off it. The beer thing sounds good. I'm not usually into wasting good beer but in this case it would be worth it.

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  8. Hey Chester and Joey .... I nominated you for 'a most influenshal blogger award'. You can collect it here:
    http://charliedownunderinoz.blogspot.com.au/2014/08/my-most-influenshal-blogger-award.html. Sorry but my Secretary is technically challenged so you will have to copy and paste it. She couldn't do the linky thing.

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