Saturday, January 11, 2014

Olympic Sleeping

Hello. This is The Daily Bone, and I’m your humble doggie host Chester L. W. Stephens.

Today we’ll be continuing the theme of health and fitness. I noticed one of my humans is not feeling well. In fact, she has been coughing and snorting, moaning and groaning terribly since last night, and today was so sick, she actually couldn’t go to work! We doggies, however, never get sick, except for the ear infections my esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens gets occasionally. We totally don’t understand where the term, “sick as a dog,” came from! So we tried to figure out what we do differently to maintain our good health.

The most obvious difference is the amount of rest we get, compared to our humans. For example, from 7AM until 11AM, one of our humans watches the morning news show, followed by the business news, whilst drinking lots of black coffee. The news is almost always bad: continued fighting and unrest in the Middle East, and elsewhere. In our own country there is the unending political trashing on every channel. Our American businesses are taking a beating, and the stock market can crash at any moment! Our own neighborhood became the site of a dragnet Wednesday night through Thursday morning, as the police used helicopters and doggies—hooray for police doggies working all night!—to track down and arrest a crazed man with a shot gun. We even got a phone call warning us to stay inside and lock our doors. Add caffeine to all that, and what do you get? An overworked immune system, elevated pulse and blood pressure, stress, and nervous breakdown. In the meantime, we doggies are doing this:
Zzzzzzzzzz.
Snarrrrrf.
We were blissfully unaffected by all those news crisis reports. Our doggie recommendation, therefore, is to turn off the television for a while, and take a nap! Regular naps restore peace and harmony to your entire system. We doggies have had many years of nap training, and have perfected several comfortable positions. In fact, with light of the upcoming Olympics, we’d like to demonstrate our skill and prowess in the art of sleeping. The following photos show the various Olympic Sleeping techniques:
Smushy-face with Squeaky Toys.
Smushy-face with Blanket.

Flipper Paws with Half Curve.















Single Frog Leg.
Tipped-over Cow with Couch Cushion.
Double Symmetric Curl.
                 Back Flip with Upper Curve and Neck Twist
Freestyle Doubles on Floor.

Electric Slide with Single Frog Leg.
Double Frog Leg.
Single Ear Flop.
Side with Neck Extension.

Side Position with Rug and Squeaky Toys.















And that's a memo. 

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