Friday, May 2, 2014

Science Experiment

Hello everybody! This is The Daily Bone and I’m your humble doggie scientist Chester L. W. Stephens.


Today I was out in the back yard trying to conduct scientific research. I’ve been wondering if mousies are living in the compost pile. I came up with this hypothesis after I detected the scent of mousies in there several weeks ago. This scent has persisted all this time, but I haven’t been able to make any actual sightings. As you know a compost pile consists of scraps of vegetable matter from the garden and the kitchen that, when placed in a pile outdoors, gradually decomposes into lovely rich soil through the actions of naturally occurring bacteria, fungi, worms, and insects. During this process heat is generated; and of course, there are plenty of things a mousie might like to eat in there, like seeds, peels, worms, and even entire moldy jalapeno peppers. It's just logical that this would be prime mousie real estate! Since it has rained for the last week, and temperatures have not gone below the freezing point, the contents of the pile were quite loose and surrounded with mud. It seemed like conditions were perfect for an excavation. I followed some orderly steps so that others can repeat my experiment and come up with the same conclusion.


Step 1: Thoroughly sniff and inspect all sides of the pile. Determine where the mousie scent is the strongest. Using my excellent doggie nose, and my natural cocker spaniel tracking instincts, I concluded the scent was strongest at the western side of this pile, as I’m indicating in this photo.


Step 2: Begin removing sticks from the pile to create a larger access point.


Step 2a: Completely ignore your human who has been yelling for you to come back in the house, and the grackles who are dive bombing you because their nest is in the bushes nearby. Well, I never said scientific research was easy.

Step 3: Begin excavation of the compost pile. This turned out to be great fun. The pile was indeed quite soft and easy to dig! 

Step 4: Stick your entire head into the hole at regular intervals to verify that you are still in the right spot. Doing this will also prevent you from hearing your human shouting at you to get out of the mud and come back in the house. Doesn’t she know important scientific discovery is going on? I can’t stop now! That would be unscientific!


Step 5: Grumble while your human drags you into the house with a leash. Leave muddy footprints on the floor to demonstrate your unhappiness about having to come back in before the mousies have been found and captured. Then jump into the bath tub. (Oh, running water looks really cool when photographed with a flash! And yes, that water was clear before I got in it!) 

Step 5a: Jump out of the tub at least once to splash water all over the bathroom floor and your human. Jump back in and submit to a thorough wash with soap and a change of clean water. Then be sure to give a good shake. Run around the house like a maniac for the next fifteen minutes to dry off. Grab the TV remote and throw it around like it’s a squeaky toy, then play “keep-away” with it while your human chases you. Roll around on your blanket on the couch. Remind your human to think about getting a movie camera to catch all the funny rolling action. (I always wanted to be a youtube star!)


Step 6: Pretend to be cute so you can get that treat you usually get for promptly coming back in the house after doing your business like my colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens does.  Secretly plan to resume your experiment the next time you go out. And that’s a memo. 
Too late! I already ate all the yum yums! 

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