Hello. This is the Daily Bone and I’m your perspicacious doggie reporter Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens. My hebetudinous associate Chester L. W. Stephens was too tired to think up a story today.
As you can see, I am sitting on top of a newspaper that says “Black Friday.” There is a reason for this. We doggies can never understand the human passion for shopping. I mean, do you really NEED a smelly candle, a tacky tie, and an ugly sweater? We doggies don’t mind if we don’t get a new doggie bed. The old one is just fine. How about instead of going shopping today, you spend some quality time with your doggies, and your family. Thank you for your kind attention.
Sit. Stay. Good.