Friday, May 29, 2015

Dastardly Perpetrators

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and we're your watchful doggie reporters Special Agent Chester L. W. Stephens and Special Agent Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens. 


As you know, we are The Double Doggie Homeland Security System. We are on the job 24/7 and protect our home and yard from all kinds of evil miscreants. However, we have now found a foe against which we are helpless. (Personally we don't really care, but ghostwriter does.) Take a look at this:


This is all that remains of a bud from ghostwriter's favorite iris, code-named Hello Darkness. Inside the ruined bud is a fat, slimy iris grub. Ghostwriter despises these particular grubs! However, they usually don't strike until later in the season when the flowers are done blooming when they destroy the root instead. Ghostwriter digs up the roots, takes out the grubs, and replants the roots. We used to feed those grubs to our gecko Elvis, who would snap them up quick. But Elvis, as you know, after quite a long and productive life, left the building last Fall, and crossed the Rainbow Bridge. 

Iris: Hello Darkness from June 2014.

Iris:  Hello Darkness right now. 

This wanton destruction of the flowers themselves has put ghostwriter in quite a rage. We doggies have no idea how to locate these pests and destroy them. I have personally offered to trample the plants, but ghostwriter always yells at me when I do this. (Is it just me, or do humans seem weird about stuff like flowers?) 

Chester-zilla in the iris patch.

To add insult to injury, she also found another horrifying criminal against which we doggies are clueless. Today there were red lily beetle grubs on her last remaining Asian lilies. 


These disgusting creatures spend their time chewing up the leaves whilst hiding in piles of their own poop. Yuck! She picked them off their gooey piles and sacrificed them to the ant gods in their mound outside the front door. 




We doggies are sorry we are of no assistance against these garden pests. Ghostwriter does not like to use pesticides, but if anyone knows how to get rid of them, please let us know. 

This TDB was brought to you by:

THE DOUBLE DOGGIE HOMELAND SECURITY SYSTEM

24/7 PROTECTION AGAINST ALMOST ALL OF YOUR EVIL INVADERS.

WE TACKLE GRACKLES, SQUIRRELS, MOUSIES, RABBITS, AND SHREWS

BUT NOT GRUBS. 

AND BARKING IS ALWAYS FREE. 


14 comments:

  1. DARN GUYZ...... your poor Iris have been HIT from Every Angle this year... Rotten Nasty BUGS and Slugs and Creepy Crawly thingys...

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  2. I think you'll have to name your Iris - Goodbye Darkness instead :)

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  3. Mom tried to kill a spider with some glitter spray. Now it is dancing around a pole and wants to be called Cinnamon.

    Abby Lab

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  4. Ok that thing is frightening
    Lily & Edward

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  5. What an ugly critter - wish we had an answer for you - those irises are so pretty too.

    Woos - Ciara and Lightning

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  6. Hi hi hi! Ojo here! The only help I have to offer is to come eat the grubs! Can I do that?

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  7. We hate grubs here too, they eat our grass
    hugs
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

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  8. Will the grackles eat those nasty things??
    Wow, now growlmy has to go and check all her iris plants. Ours are just sort of wild things, furry ordinary...light purple, and white and yellow...we inherited them from the previous home owners...

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  9. We liked your idea about trampling them. We thought it was just brilliant, Chester!

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch and Molly

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  10. Oh, those thingies are nasty!!! Has your Moms tried Milky Spore? No, it's not a tasty beverage, butts it does kill the grubs naturally! We gets them in our lawn and stuffs, and it really works for all kinds of grubs! It also kills flea larvae that might hide in the grass! Anyhu, you can probably gets it at your local garden center or at Amazon
    Oh, and those grub thingies...NOT tasty at ALL! Just a tip....☺
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the advice, Ruby. I was trying to think of what that stuff was called. I did a bit of research and found out that the destroyer of my irises is actually a caterpillar called an iris borer, and not a grub. I think I'm going to follow the advice in the site below and hope to get some better flowers next year. I also plan to transplant the irises to the front yard where they won't fall prey to the stomping feet of Chester-zilla either! I might use that milky spore on the lawn though. Soon I will be battling Japanese beetles munching up my roses and trees! Thanks again. Chris (ghostwriter)

      www.renegadegardener.com/content/49irisborer


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    2. Thanks for the advice, Ruby. I was trying to think of what that stuff was called. I did a bit of research and found out that the destroyer of my irises is actually a caterpillar called an iris borer, and not a grub. I think I'm going to follow the advice in the site below and hope to get some better flowers next year. I also plan to transplant the irises to the front yard where they won't fall prey to the stomping feet of Chester-zilla either! I might use that milky spore on the lawn though. Soon I will be battling Japanese beetles munching up my roses and trees! Thanks again. Chris (ghostwriter)

      www.renegadegardener.com/content/49irisborer


      Delete
  11. Mum luffs Irises, butt she can't grow them here! Those dark ones are really beautiful, I hopes you solve the grub problem soon
    I went to see some of Elvis's family yesterday Chester, oh how I would luffs to haf an Elvis of my own!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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