Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I Found a Jet Plane!

This is The Daily Bone and I’m your plausible doggie host Chester L. W. Stephens.

The biggest news story going on right now is about that missing air plane from Malaysia. All kinds of theories abound, from completely possible to entirely crackpot. It could have simply crashed into the ocean. Maybe it was hijacked, or shot down. There’s a new one every five minutes and countless TV reporters are vigorously analyzing every idea and implicating conspiracies of all sorts. Some of them are angry, making accusations about the countries doing the searches, and practically stamping their feet with impatience. I might remind them that this is not a block buster movie where you get the answer in 90 minutes.

I’m sure the late Professor Braydie Spiker, our old expert on the subject of paranormal squeaky toy events, would have a good, scientific answer. Here she is in a photo from our archives. Note the UFO she is trying to catch. (We miss you Braydie!)


Perhaps that jet was sucked into a worm hole like the one our favorite miniature human has at his house, pictured here. If that was the case, it could reappear at any time anywhere on Earth. 


You might think that with all the global mapping technology it should be easy to spot something as big as a jet. So I decided to check out Google Earth. (As you know my doggie paws aren’t very good at typing on a computer keyboard, so I have a ghost writer who does the actual typing for me.) Together we did a search and look what we found! A jet is hovering right over Russel Square in London England. 


In other news today, it has gotten warmer outside. The ice and snow are melting and making lots of mud. Wow! Spring is in the air here for sure! I just love the smell of dirt and worms on my doggie feet, even if my humans don't. Fortunately, I also enjoy playing in the bath tub. My esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens thinks I’m crazy. 
Bath time?
No thanks!
The Evil Squirrel Cartel has been spotted traipsing around in the neighbor’s yard under the oak tree. Perhaps they’re finding acorns from last Fall. Flocks of birds are hanging around our yard and we have to fill up the bird feeder every day. Crazy Bird, the angry red cardinal, has been singing in the top of the silver maple tree. The mob of mourning doves who showed up right after the big blizzard, are still here and show no sign of moving. I have been hearing thousands of honking geese flying overhead. Well, here’s a last look at the snow that will probably be all gone by this time tomorrow. 

Joey dog and I are very sad for all the people who were on that missing jet, and their families. I’m sure someone will finally discover what really happened soon enough. And that's a memo. 

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