Thursday, January 16, 2014

What is Super Bowl Sunday?

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I’m your humble doggie host Chester L. W. Stephens.
Just when I thought the Holidays were over, I find out there’s another one to worry about. This one is called Super Bowl Sunday. My astute associate Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens said he’d consult the Yum Yum Coalition Doggie guide book, but he thinks a super bowl might be a good thing. For one thing, a lot of television ads for the occasion seem to be about food, like chicken wings, beer, soda pop, crunchy snacks, pizza, gigantic sandwiches, monster televisions, fancy cars, pick-up trucks … wait a minute … you can’t eat a TV or a motorized vehicle! Oh, and there are more ads than ever about losing weight. I wish the humans would make up their minds about food vs losing weight! But I digress.

We called up our good friend and honorary vice-president of the Yum Yum Coalition, The Lady Galadriel (Lady) to see what she might be able to tell us about Super Bowl Sunday. She said she didn’t know, but anything that had to do with yum yums must be good. She doesn’t see why there should be just one special day devoted to putting yum yums into a giant doggie bowl. Every day should be a extra food for super doggies day! But if the humans want to put everything into a special giant doggie bowl on Super Bowl Sunday, she’s OK with that.    
Next, we contacted Professor Braydie Spiker, resident UFO expert and paranormal investigator, to see if she had any information. Her response was, “what another holiday? Does that mean I have to wear another silly hat?”
So we tried to imagine what else Super Bowl Sunday might be about. As hard as we tried, we could only come up with food. I mean, what else do you put in a bowl? Salad? How about this: a big salad slathered with bleu cheese dressing, chicken wings, pizza bites, and tortilla chips thrown in, and guacamole, tacos, liverwurst submarine sandwich pieces, mini hamburger sliders—hold the pickles—barbecue ribs, steak, potato salad, and then mush all that good stuff up and serve in a gigantic dog bowl! Now that’s what I call a super bowl! "Actually," Joey dog said after consulting the Yum Yum Coalition guide book, "in Rochester NY, that would be called a garbage plate." What??!! Why would the humans throw all that good food away in the garbage? Now I’m more confused than ever. And that’s a memo
I'll just take care of those left-overs, if you don't mind.

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