Hi everybody, and welcome to The Daily Bone. I’m your doggie host, Chester L. W. Stephens.
My humans have explained to me that there is no Ironing Board Man. It’s supposed to be Iron Man, and he is a snarky guy in an iron suit who flies around fighting evil. There is a computer thingy inside the iron suit too, that tells him all kinds of pertinent information, like his fuel status, the proximity of his foes, and probably if his underwear needs changing. That all sounds rather crowded and stinky to me! Kind of like barking in a bucket and then having to smell your own dog breath.
But, you know what? I really like the idea of Ironing Board Man. I mean, imagine how much damage can be done to a villain if a rickety ironing board collapses on top of him, then the hot iron hits him on the head and he gets buried in wrinkled laundry. That sounds pretty devastating to me. Hmmph! I usually stay far away from the ironing board for just that reason. My crime fighting partner, Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens agrees whole heartedly. The ironing board is one of the most scary things in the whole house. We’re glad it spends most of its time folded up in the laundry room. When one of our humans gets it out and unfolds it, it makes such a horrible clattering sound. Be afraid evil Squirrel Cartel. Be very afraid. Ironing Board Man is going to flatten all of your twitching, bushy tails! Bwa ha ha ha ha!
Well anyway, the whole point of super heroes is to pretend. With all the terrible things happening in the world today, it’s nice to think someone with super powers is at least going to help us out of our worst predicaments. There is no rule anywhere that says I can’t make up my own super hero. So therefore, I’m going to write a fan letter to Ironing Board Man, just as soon as I can figure out how to open this envelope. And that’s a memo.
Oh, and here is that link to extreme ironing: