Hello one and all to The Daily Bone, where we discuss important current issues from the doggie point of view. I am your humble doggie host Chester L. W. Stephens. We also talk about squeaky toys.
Wow! There are so many things to talk about, I can’t think of where to start. It’s finally spring! Yeah, really this time. That means there are commercials for the new summer blockbuster movies about super heroes. There is one guy called, I think, Ironing Board Man. The only thing I know about ironing boards is that they’re rather rickety and have a heavy thing on top that might be hot, and usually a big pile of clothes. I’m not sure how he will save the world, but it sounds so exciting. I hear the actor who plays this character is famous for being snarky. No wonder everyone hates to iron! Oh, but maybe he’s one of those extreme ironing fans. If you don’t believe me, check out this website. (below) In that case, perhaps the villain in the movie might be called the evil Dr. Rumpledshirt! Anyway, movies like that are said to bring in millions of dollars.
Maybe I should invent a super hero. I could certainly use a million dollars. With all the bad stuff going on these days, the world could use as many of these as possible. The world could also use more squeaky toys, as I’ve been saying for the better part of a year now! How about Squeaky Toy Man? But that doesn’t seem doggie enough. Besides, if I had a super hero squeaky toy thing, I would probably chew it to tatters and take the squeaky out. That’s standard operations around here. My secret stash is full of my beloved chewed up toys. My humans played a joke on me yesterday. They gave me an orange. I was totally confused. It was round and rolled, just like my favorite squeaky ball, but it didn’t squeak. When I picked it up, it tasted terrible. Blah! Doggies hate citrus fruit! This is just the kind of dastardly behavior we need super heroes to save us from. OK, Ironing Board Man, I’m looking for you!