Thursday, May 30, 2013

Demadog



Hello everybody. This is The Daily Bone, and I’m your humble doggie host, Chester L. W. Stephens. As you know, I’m chairman of the Squeaky Party where we believe that squeaky toys make the world a better place.

Today’s vocabulary word is: demagogue. This is a politician who wins votes by telling people only what they want to hear, and making promises that are unrealistic when you really think about them. But he’s betting that the general population is ignorant enough to believe what he says and promises. If you do your research, you’ll find out that apparently this has been in use as a political ploy since the ancient Greeks. And so, I finally figured out why I didn’t win the election last November. It seems the people wanted a demagogue, rather than a demadog, for president. Or maybe it was a demigod?

Another term I’ve heard a lot lately is left-wing and right-wing. I don’t quite get that. What does politics have to do with birds? I would think a bird couldn’t fly if both its wings don’t work together. Or maybe it has to do with chicken wings. Yum. I don’t think it matters if you eat left wings or right wings, but I suggest you try it and see if it makes any difference. Let me know what you find out. Grilled chicken feet taste good too, by the way. I never stopped to find out if I was eating a left or a right one. Neither did my culinary associate Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens. He said he would be glad to have the Yum Yum Coalition do some research on that, but they lost their funding due to the sequester.

I have been hearing a lot of news about North Koreans lately too. What are they so mad about all the time, anyway? I propose we start bombing them as soon as possible. There is nothing better than a preemptive strike on an aggressive nation. However, before you get all uptight about wars and killing, if you remember my interview with Fox News last Fall, you’d remember that I said we should fill the missiles with squeaky toys. Just think about that for a minute. I think that crazy guy in Iran could use a few squeaky toys too. Peace and squeaky toys to all! And that’s a memo.

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