An Educated Doggie

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your perplexed doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel.

I've had a hard time learning what is a squeaky toy and what isn't a squeaky toy. Indeed, the humans have a vast array of things that would qualify as squeaky toys in my mind, but aren't squeaky toys in their minds. On top of that list is ghostwriter's dollies. You see, there is a part of this toy that looks very fuzzy and squeaky toy-like. But if I touch it, I'll get into big trouble!  

Then there's this:

It's not a squeaky toy, but I won't get in as much trouble if I stole it and played keep-away with it, as I would if I stole one of these:

I have also learned that I should leave the birdies who visit our birdie feeder alone. 

Even though this birdie is kind of the same color as this squeaky toy, I know I shouldn't bark at it. 

I even know how to tell the birdies apart! For example, this is a mourning dove:

Sometimes I'll find these doves hiding in the bushes around my yard. I might startle them and they'll fly away (and they make such a wonderful squeaky sound when they fly!) but I won't chase them and try to catch one. However, it's OK to catch one of these noisy old bully grackles:

I know not to bark at this guy:

But if something like this shows up, all bets are off!

I think I've learned a lot in my eight years as a doggie in this household.

This, however, has me totally confused!