Monday, June 10, 2013

Greetings Earthdoggies!

Greetings Earthdoggies!
                                                      
Hello, and welcome to The Daily Bone. I’m your humble doggie host, Chester L. W. Stephens. Hold on to your squeaky toys, or else babies will take them!

Yesterday miniature human, Ryan, arrived for a visit in his special transportation space pod. Wow, I wish I had one of those things. All he has to do is sit in it and he gets carried everywhere in plush, hovering comfort.

Somehow, he has managed to get bigger since the last time I saw him. What’s more, he seems to be making use of his hands now. He patted me on the head and grabbed my ears, and that was all right. But then a strange thing happened. A certain squeaky toy, which I have been eyeing for years in its shrine on the shelf, high above my reach, next to the sacred box of ashes of our patron saint, Miss Charisma dog, suddenly appeared in his little baby hands. Then he tried to cram it into his mouth, similar to what I would do upon receipt of such a valuable toy. I worried that he might take the stuffing out. This, of course, has always been my job exclusively, and I take great pride in it. There hasn’t been a squeaky toy yet that I haven’t been able to unstuff, even the so-called indestructible ones, like the one in the photo below. But I digress. In spite of my protest, Ryan was allowed to play with this wonderful, coveted, and highly collectible squeaky toy. Then it magically disappeared. Later, a plastic rattling type toy appeared in his possession, but I don’t have jurisdiction over this class of objects.

We proceeded to have dinner, and my culinary associate Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens and I engaged in our usual mealtime activity: food watching. Baby Ryan seemed to be doing the same. He sat staring at the delicious spare ribs, creamy potato salad, and freshly steamed green beans with butter, drooling just as much as we doggies were, but wasn’t allowed to have any. The humans said he was not old enough for this kind of food yet. Joey dog remarked that this is a sign that we have at least something in common with this little person. Maybe he will eat things off the floor like we do too. Hey, I can teach him to catch and eat bugs!

After a while, he got back into the cockpit of his futuristic traveling device and left. Joey dog and I are wondering what new developments will occur upon his next visit. My humans told me that baby Ryan probably won’t be allowed to abscond with any of my squeaky toys from my basket under the TV because they’re too chewed up, ragged, and dirty. Wow, that’s a relief!

Gadzooks! He's got the sacred beany baby toy.
This was an "indestructible" toy! Hah!

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