Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Noise Pollution

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and doggies. I am Chester L. W. Stephens, and this is The Daily Bone.

Well, it must be spring for sure this time. I’m getting tired of announcing it, only to be contradicted by yet more snow and cold weather. I think I can say it with some certainty now because today I heard the annoying sound of lawn mowers. Why do humans put so much time and effort into mowing lawns anyway? I mean, there is no real use for a lawn except to make their front yard look tidy. They put so much work into growing all that grass, yet they just mow it down and throw it away. My insightful colleague, Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens pointed out that it’s good to keep the lawn short so we can monitor the activities of the evil Squirrel Cartel, or watch for the approach of those weirdo Trick-or-treaters or other miscreants. Well, I guess that’s OK. But I still hate all that noise! Whenever we are outside and a neighbor is walking around with his noisy lawn mower, we doggies run along the fence and bark as loudly as we can. Then we get yelled at for it, and ordered back in the house.

The other sign of spring is the emergence of motorcycles. Wow, those are really noisy! I found out that there are mufflers you can get to make motorcycles quieter. So why doesn’t anybody use them? I would think it would damage your ears to ride around all day on a noisy machine. Whenever one of those horrible thundering things goes by, we doggies can’t help but bark. Then one of our human tells us to quite down.

 Then there’s noise pollution caused by people driving around with their music turned up real loud and their car windows open. Every time Mr. Boomboomcar drives by, Joey dog and I are startled and start barking. Then we get told to shut up. Hey, are you beginning to see a pattern here? It’s not fair that we get punished for reacting to other people’s noise! Why doesn’t everyone else keep quiet? That way we all can appreciate some of the nicer sounds of spring, like birds singing and frogs peeping. And that’s a memo.


Oh, and thank you to Miss Jacquie for another nice haircut today. Sorry if we're squeamish about the electric clippers.




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