Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Boring Phone Call

Good evening. This is The Daily Bone, and I’m your secret doggie host, Chester L. W. Stephens, chairman of the Squeaky Party.

The NSA is collecting all your phone calls in order to screen out possible terrorist activity. Some people think this is an invasion of privacy. I’m of two minds about this. First, now that the terrorists know this, they’ll find other means of communicating, like snail mail maybe. Second, I can’t think of anything more boring than listening to billions of phone calls. In fact, maybe they should start using them as a form of torture. Imagine how fast a would-be terrorist would spill his guts if he had to listen to your phone calls for hours and hours! To prove my point, you can listen in on my next phone call to my esteemed colleague, Special Agent Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens, and here it is:

bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark evil squirrels in my tree bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark they're planning to steal pears and bird seed from my yard bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark constant surveillance bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark high speed chase bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark spray them with the hose bark bark bwa ha ha ha ha ha bark bark bark watch out for mud bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark and yum yum patrol at five sharp bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark how about the crummy weather we’ve had lately bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark leftover fish in the dog bowl bark bark mashed potatoes and corn bark bark bark bark squeaky toys bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark OK bye.

Wow, that was so boring I put myself to sleep!

The government also might be checking out your email. Again, everyone is worried about privacy. Never mind that you have already voluntarily provided tons of information about yourself on things like Facebook. How do you think your server knows which ads to put on the sidebar? Every e-store you go to is using your buying patterns to figure out what you will be interested in buying the next time you visit. Well, surprise!




Snooorrrrrrk.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. 

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