Thursday, November 14, 2013

Spinning



Hi everyone! This is The Daily Bone, and I’m your dizzy doggie host, Chester L. W. Stephens. Hang onto your squeaky toys because your head will soon be spinning! (I originally wrote this TDB a year ago and posted it on this blog last May. But I think it's appropriate to repeat considering what's going on in the news right now.)

Today’s vocabulary word is “spin.” It used to mean to turn around and around, like a wheel. But these days, it takes on a whole new meaning. Now it means to take some bad news and make it look good, or to take some good news and make it look bad, or to take bad news and make it look worse, or to take good news and make it look better, or to skip it altogether and just talk about cute, fuzzy things like puppies and birdies and the latest diet craze. It can also be used to take credit for something good that you actually had nothing to do with, or to make it look like you had nothing to do with something bad, or blame someone else for it. Dizzy yet?

Politicians and the media have turned spinning into a fine art. So how can we tell if something is true or if it’s being given a spin? For one thing, consider the source. If every television channel reports that there is a volcano erupting in Italy, then it’s probably true. But if you see a celebrity say the volcano is erupting because of global warming, fracking or Republicans, then it’s probably a spin. If a politician says something is a good idea, then turns around a month later and says it isn’t, then he’s spinning. It’s kind of like chasing your tail. It’s funny for a while, but then you just look like a weirdo and get your picture put on http://www.shameddog.com/

OK, so I’m going to give spinning a try. Do you see that pee pee on the floor in the corner? I have no idea how it got there. Perhaps my elderly associate Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens might be having a little problem because of his age. We’ll have to give it a good sniff and take some time to analyze it properly. Maybe we should send it to a lab for DNA testing and then set up a Congressional subcommittee to investigate further. Or, try this: I saw an ant there and so I had to do something quick about it before the whole colony came charging up through that little crack in the corner over there. Oh, and it’s not so bad. It will dry up soon and then no one will even know it’s there. Except for us doggies and our sensitive sense of smell. It’s good practice for us to have old pee spots to keep sniffing skills sharp. Hey, with all this global warming and fracking to worry about—and what about those darn Republicans?—a doggie can’t help but be nervous.

But you know what? That leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Bleah!


I think I’m better off saying, yes, it was I who made that pee pee in the corner. I’m sorry about that and I’ll try my best not to do it again. Now that’s called taking personal responsibility. If everybody would be honest about things, the world would be a better place. And that’s a memo.

I am not elderly!

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