Friday, February 10, 2017

Barking

Bark bark bark bark bark! This is The Daily Bone and I'm your vociferous doggie reporter 
Chester L. W. Spaniel. 


Today I have a very serious subject to talk about: barking. My friends at Small Tales
 foleymonsterandpocket did a post on February 9th about their humans using various contraptions to try to curb their dutiful barking, and the unintended consequences that ensued.  It got me thinking about barking in general.


Loyal readers will know that I'm the only remaining member of the Double Doggie Homeland Security System, since my esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel went across the Rainbow Bridge last July. Here are a few photos of us, below.

We were an excellent team! Winter …

… Spring …

… Summer …

… and Fall …

… outside and indoors!

I've been working very hard to carry out my duties to protect my house, my yard, and my humans who dwell here from all threats, invaders, and various criminal activity.


In fact, I have a whole range of barks for different situations. For example, when I'm certain that aliens are at the door and ready to break in and murder my humans right this very moment, I have my "I'm a big boy" bark. When my humans come home from shopping, I have my "hey you're home and no one broke into our house while I was on duty!" yipping bark. Then there's my normal, everyday bark that I use to broadcast breaking news, like, "somebody three blocks away just slammed their car door," or, "the mail truck has arrived on our street" or, "there's a person walking by on the sidewalk." 


Yes indeed, barking is serious business for us doggies! 


I intend to keep on barking whether my humans like it or not.


In fact, it is my dog given responsibility to keep my homeland safe, and crack down on anyone or anything with harmful intentions from getting in without a good barking at. 


I will also have you know that I make no discrimination between species. I will bark at the Evil Squirrel Cartel just as vigorously as the Empire Heating and Cooling repair man. 


Furthermore, carrying on the tradition of my highly respected and revered associate Miss Ginger, AKA Princess Poo Poo, who crossed the Bridge in 2010, I reserve the right to thoroughly interrogate any strangers my humans allow in the house. If they come bearing yum yum doggie treats, and then sit down on the sofa and pet me, they will be immediately added to my best friends roster, and be welcome at any time.


I will also make it known that according to my contract, and local zoning laws, I never stay outside unsupervised for long periods of time, nor am I allowed to bark continuously and annoy the neighbors (even though the guy around the block with the noisy white pick-up truck drives by at all hours of the day and night and annoys us!)


I hope I have made myself perfectly clear on this issue. 


Now, if you'll excuse me, the UPS truck just came around the corner. Bark bark bark bark bark!




Please enjoy some barking related comics.


Take It From the Tinkersons

The Other Coast




17 comments:

  1. Thank you for featuring our blog and for understanding our need to bark to protect our parents

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  2. That was fine barking explanation, Chester!!!

    A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do!!!

    Woos - Lightning and Misty

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  3. Crikey Chester ..... you sure do bark at a lot of things, aye?? I'm not much of a barker myself. Matter of fact Mum and Dad thought I couldn't bark at all for about the first 6 months of my life with them. Someone came to the door and I let out one bark. Scared Mum and Dad half to death. I do howl though!! Do you howl??????

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    1. Yes, I do howl. Miss Ginger taught me that. She was a conssumate howler and provided dinner music every night. She was the best singer in the house, and I'm proud to carry on her legacy.

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  4. I was totally silent when Mom and Dad got me from the high kill shelter. Then Mom gave me a treat when I barked at the teenager leaving a flyer by opening our screen door, AND the weird guy walking up our alley. I'll only whine at the mailman as his wife is the neighborhood Avon lady and they've dropped off orders of the bubble bath and bath oil that Mom has used for the last 87 years. Still the whine lets her know mail is here.

    I'm learning.

    You're doing a great job Chester. Joey would be proud.
    Abby Lab

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  5. Hey I barked up the UPS man today!!
    hugs
    Mabel

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  6. Our angel sissy Maggie used to bark and anything and everything! Mom and dad used to say that she barked to hear herself bark. That's our job, Chester - right?!

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  7. BARK!!! Yep, we're on the same page round here too.
    To bark is to live! Or is it to live is to bark?
    Whutefur. Yu no whut I'm barkin' 'bout!

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  8. Chester I know Sir angel Joey is so very proud of how you have continue on the EXCELLENT BOL for two.
    You are doing the work for two I sure hope you are getting proper compensation! MOL
    So I don't bark but I have been told I out meowed my predessor Milky-way, the first hour I was here. Mom says MW was here 14.5 years and he might have meowed a year's worth of meows in that time. MOL MOL
    Hugs
    Madi your bfff

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  9. Phod barks when there is intruders or possible intruders as well. Since we live on a private road, we include all cars we are not familiar with. We never bark at the next door neighbours cars for example, but strangers and the garbage truck, look out. We also need to bark at any people walking, wildlife, the TV. Come to think of it some days we bark a lot. It echoes in our house so sounds extra crazy!

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  10. Dearest Chester, I finks you have the most WONDERFUL bark!!!!!
    It makes my paws go all weak at the knees
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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  11. All of know that we are our pawrents best security system. What would they do if we didn't bark to let them know what is happening outside?

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  12. APPAWS!! APPAWS!!!

    What a riveting speech on our right to bark, Chaster!!!
    Smileys!
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

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  13. We agree that sometimes we just must bark - it is in our job description!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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  14. I bark so much petcretary says sometimes I am barking just because...BOL!!! Yup, since I was three months old I have barked at all kinds of things that need barking such as a branch in the yard that was not there yesterday...the trash bin in the wrong spot, a walnut bouncing off the porch roof...and well, you know all about bark! Arooo! Nope I only do that when there is a siren. Petcretary says she is sometimes not sad I am becoming deafer. Since less things get my barking machine revved up! But if I see something...OMD! I will BARK!

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  15. You're a credit to our species and breed, Chester! Woof!

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  16. Chester you sound like you have it all figured out and bark just the right amount! The only one who is a "silly" barker here is Anne. Sometimes she barks at imaginary things and Mazie gives her "the Look" so Mom knows that she is just being a silly goose :)

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