A New Low

Good evening fellow doggies. Humans and kitties too. This is The Daily Bone and we're your diligent doggie reporters Chester L. W. Spaniel and Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel. 

We have a very serious and shocking report today. Our own dear Oma received a package filled with special German treats that was shipped to her doorstep. During the short amount of time it was sitting there unattended, a member of the Evil Squirrel Cartel chewed a hole in the side of the box! 

Upon opening the box Oma was horrified to discover the vile larcenist had stolen a delicious chocolate candy. These particular candies are filled with fruit liqueur, such as kirschwasser, covered with a crunchy sugar shell then coated with hazelnuts and chocolate. She only gets these once a year! 

It seems the Evil Squirrel Cartel has reached a new low in depravity and terpitude! 

Here is a spy cam photo of the notorious thief in our dear Oma's back yard. As you can see, he is quite well fed and in no way needs to pilfer sweets from an 89 year old lady hoping for some Christmas cheer from her home country! Had The Double Doggie Homeland Security System been there, we would have immediately arrested this obese miscreant and shaken the nuts out of him! 

There would have been squirrel stew for sure, with delicious semmel knödel to soak up the gravy! 

To the nefarious offender: shame on you! SHAME ON YOU!!!!!! We hope you die from chocolate poisoning, or at least have a severe hangover! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

In other news, this morning a noisy rumbling monster screaming dragon street cleaner vehicle truck came trundling around our neighborhood. Ghostwriter said that squirrels were literally flying out of the trees in the wake of this heroic machine and its deafening din. I bet Ironing Board Man sent him! 

Evil Squirrel Cartel, Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!