Our Resolutions

I have limited time right now—my ghost writer has to go to work at the nursing home this evening—so I will dispense with the formalities. My esteemed colleague Joey dog and I are thinking about New Year's Resolutions. We wonder why the humans insist on going through this ordeal every year, and never stick with the resolutions they make. In fact, by the second week of January, all resolutions have been completely forgotten! We suggest that they not make resolutions that are so difficult to keep, like losing one hundred pounds. But we can come up with a few doggie resolutions that we're sure we can keep, and hope our human friends and family will take our advice.

I resolve to loose one pound.

I resolve to gain one pound.

I resolve not to steal any designer cupcakes without permission.

I resolve to continue guarding our territory from the Evil Squirrel Cartel.

I resolve to guard our territory, even in a snow storm.

We resolve to take more naps, and sleep through New Year's Eve again.