Happy Christmas

Hello everybody. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your humble doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel along with my colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel. We hope you're having a wonderful Christmas Day!

Our ghostwriter has a nasty cold, so she is sitting at home with us in the quiet house. Everybody else is at our favorite miniature human, Ryan's house opening presents. Outside it is very windy, cloudy, and not particularly cold. We have no snow at all!

After weeks of Christmas songs on the radio and in every store, we thought you might enjoy some of my ghostwriter's favorite songs from her vast collection of international music. They are in all different languages!

                                              



   
                                          




                                               




                                               



                                                

This last one is one of Grandma Elsie's favorite songs to play at Christmas time. In our house, it wouldn't be Christmas without it!  

Time for a cup of chai and a good nap! Happy holidays! 

Peace, Kindness, and Compassion

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your humble doggie host Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

This is the Christmas Holiday Season. Merry Christmas! It seems many people around the world, and in our own country are offended by this simple and kind greeting. It's hoping you have a cheerful time on a certain day. What in the world is wrong with that? Pile that on top of all the other terrible things that are going on in this world right now. Although I have said many times, my doggie mind cannot comprehend human religion, I can still comment on what I see.

Humans around the world celebrate or observe a number of different holidays (or holy days) Hanukkah, Diwali, New Year, Yule, etc. The basic message is thankfulness and celebration for what you have, honor for your beliefs and supreme being, and a pledge to become a better and more moral person.

Over the last several months my ghostwriter has been taking pictures of our garden Buddha. This is a little ceramic statue of a fat, laughing Buddha who is jolly and happy with whatever weather comes his way. My ghostwriter and I paired up a few of these pictures with some sayings by the Dalai Lama that we think are appropriate for these troubled times. They have sort of a universal meaning regardless of religion.

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. 

Our prime purpose in life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.

All major religions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness. 

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not,
there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion. 

A truly compassionate attitude towards others does not change even if they behave negatively or hurt you.

My ghostwriter has a saying: holy war is an oxymoron. Think about it. 

Kindness is always possible, right? 

Have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 

Peace out.

Presents

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Greetings loyal doggies, and cuddly kitties. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your humble and lovable doggie host Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

Suspicious things have been going on in our house this evening. My esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel and I got stuck in our ghostwriter’s office when our Jason human came home. I was sure I heard the rattling of plastic bags.

Come on Joey dog! 

I immediately found rolls of shiny, colorful paper on the bed in the spare room. I know what that stuff is used for! 

Jason must have been wrapping presents for me! 

Whatever, Chester.

I got my presents earlier today! Yum!

Oh yeah, I found some more funny videos …

                                         


                                        

                                        

Do You See What I See?

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I’m your observant doggie commentator Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

I'm looking out the window this afternoon. 

Do you see what I see? 

No, it's not that corpulent squirrel! 

No, it's not Joey dog galloping after it. 

No, it's not the cute little chickadee sitting on the window box feeder. It's not the reflection of me looking out either. 

Take a good look. No, it's not that demented squirrel who's now stuck up in the tree! 

It's not the birdie perched way up on top of the tall spruce tree. Have you figured it out yet? It’s something I haven’t seen in ages. I’ve almost forgotten what it looks like. 

Give up? It’s the sun! Today is the shortest day of the year. Enjoy it while you can! 

Funny Feast!

This is a TDB fast breaking news story! 

I'm your laughing hysterically doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel. 

You've got to see this!!!!! 

                                      

Don't forget to watch the behind-the-scenes video too! 

                                      

These videos are approved by the Yum Yum Coalition and the entire staff here at The Daily Bone! 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! 

Methodical Squirrel Surveillance by Angus

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I’m your humble doggie correspondent Chester L. W. Spaniel 

Today we are happy to present our proficient doggie colleague Angus B. Terrier, who will show us how he carries out his daily squirrel surveillance. 

Step 1. Focus on a tree. There’s sure to be a squirrel in it. 

Step 2. Be sure to sniff the entire perimeter of the tree trunk. Remember, squirrels tend to scuttle to the opposite side of the tree of where you are. 

Step 3. Glance across the street in case the squirrel has escaped in that direction. 

They are sneaky like that. 

Step 4. Carefully scan the entire tree. It helps that the leaves are down so you can see every possible hiding place. When you are completely sure there are no squirrels in that particular tree, move on to the next one. 

Step 5. Repeat with next tree. 

Almost forgot: here's a nice site for doggie and kitty cartoons:

www.facebook.com/TinyConfessions

Shelf Elf (Advertisement)

Hello friends and fans. I am your savvy doggie reporter and internet celebrity 

Chester L. W. Spaniel along with my adroit colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel. 

Together we are:

THE DOUBLE DOGGIE HOMELAND SECURITY SYSTEM.

Has your house been invaded by an annoying little alien called a Shelf Elf? Does it sit and spy on you day in and day out? Does it show up in the most unlikely places and stare at you whenever you eat an extra cookie? Well worry no more!

Just pretend I'm not here.

The Double Doggie Homeland Security System is offering a fantastic, limited, one time only deal: 

FREE SHELF ELF SHREDDING SERVICE

Yes, you heard it right! This service is completely free! Simply bring your despicable Shelf Elf to our workshop. Joey dog will inspect it for bombs and listening devices, and give it a good slobbering. I will then, personally, shred it! I have been developing and perfecting my squeaky toy un-stuffing, de-squeaking, and fragmentation skills for six years now, and am thus uniquely qualified for this dangerous and tricky procedure.

THE DOUBLE DOGGIE HOMELAND SECURITY SYSTEM GUARANTEE: 

The destruction and disposal of your devious shelf elf will be done in strict confidentiality. 

You will never have to worry about crime scene evidence. I will render the plastic head part into tiny bits and the cloth parts into shreds, which my humans will discreetly scatter into random trash bags.

We are sure Santa will never be able to keep track of the millions of Shelf Elf entities out there spying and tattling. They all look pretty much alike. In fact, we have heard from a reliable source that many of these things are really just mindless clones, mass produced by some big manufacturing company and not connected to Santa at all! Who would perpetrate such a devious spy campaign? Besides passing personal information about your behavior and eating habits, Shelf Elf puts you at risk for identity theft and security breach and hackers. 

Just imagine! Your life will finally be free of that annoying Shelf Elf thing with its prying eyes, leering smirk, bulbous cheekbones, and long, gangly limbs! You will be able to enjoy your illicit cookies, candy canes, hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, eggnog, and holiday fruit cake without guilt or worry about that tattletale elf!

But remember, this is a limited time offer. You must act fast. This offer will only be available until December 25, 2014! *

… like your social security number
and computer passwords …

As an extra bonus, we will also shred santa hats and fake antlers for the first five callers!

Oh thank goodness! 

THE DOUBLE DOGGIE HOMELAND SECURITY SYSTEM

PROTECTING YOUR TERRITORY AND PRIVACY 24/7

AND BARKING IS ALWAYS FREE! 

(Donations of yum yum doggie treats are gratefully accepted.) 

*After December 25, 2014, if you do not use our shredding service, for your safety, we suggest you put your evil elf in a hermetically sealed plastic bag and then store it in a large storage bin in your basement or attic, where it will be effectively deactivated. Other suggestions: bon fire, trash can, your nearest deep body of water, or burial under six feet of dirt. The Double Doggie Homeland Security System will not be responsible for harmful side effects.