Lazy Saturday

Hello. This is The Daily Bone, weekend edition, and I’m your serene doggie host Chester L. W. Spaniel.

I was having a relaxing Saturday morning. I slept in late, and then lounged around while my humans watched a show they had recorded that was about a contest to see who could create the best weird puppet scary gigantic creature alien thing. I will never understand why humans are obsessed with costumes and making things look radically different than how they’re supposed to look. My esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel agrees. It’s just plain creepy and confusing. But my humans enjoyed it. In the meantime, Joey dog went back to sleep, and I tried to divert attention from the TV to me—me me me!—and managed to get a gratifying ear scratch. Then I was told I was way overdue for a visit with our groomer, Miss Jacquie because Joey dog and I both look like dusty dirty floppy-moppy ragamuffins!

What the heck is a ragamuffin? Sounds like something to eat! 

A few chores needed to be done, including cleaning out the fridge. This usually means a big bowl of left-overs for Joey dog and me. This time it was spaghetti and steamed vegies. Yum. 

The windows were opened to the peaceful cool breeze, with just the rustling of leaves and the incessant squawking of grackles. I think their babies have grown big enough to fly out of their nests by now, so we don’t know why the grackles are still mobbing that big crow as he makes his daily rounds of the area. What a noisy lot!

It wasn’t long before the annoying sound of lawn mowers started up. Then neighborhood kids started riding their bikes back and forth on the sidewalk in front of our house. Our neighbor turned up his music and began puttering around in his driveway. He always drops his tools: ping, clang, pong! And he slams the car door: whomp! As homeland security experts, we doggies barked out the window as loudly as we could at these disturbances. Then the rest of the local doggie barking network went into action: the big collie across the street, the boxer around the block, and that little yappy dog a few houses down started barking too. One of my humans started shouting at us to be quiet, but we get confused by that. We’re just doing our jobs, warning our humans about potential invaders, and he's barking louder than we are! Sheesh! So much for peace and quiet! So much for rest and relaxation! Now motor cycles are going by, and more lawn mowers have started. Someone's vacuuming their car. More people walking by with strollers and a kid on a big wheel bike. A-woooooooooooo, bark bark bark! 

The coup de gras was this: somebody found the following videos on the computer and they turned the volume up. Wow, squeaky toy videos! Videos of squeaky toys! Squeaky toys, and barking doggies, and techno music too! It's barking party time! 

What the … squeaky toy? I hear a squeaky toy! Gimme the squeaky toy! Bark bark bark bark bark bark! Where is it? It's a squeaky toy! Bark bark bark bark! I hear a squeaky toy! Squeaky squeaky!

Bark bark bark bark bark! 

TGIF

Hello and welcome everybody! This is The Daily Bone and I’m your humble doggie reporter 

Chester L. W. Spaniel.

The humans have this saying: Thank God It’s Friday. My esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel and I are trying to figure it out. Apparently there are seven days to a week. Most humans work Monday through Friday, and then have the weekend off. So they’re glad when Friday rolls around and they’ll have two days of free time. Joey dog and I couldn’t care less what day of the week it is. We have fun every day, and work all the time. In fact, we think work and play are the same thing. We say: TGIT (Thank God It's Today!)

We just have a few odds and ends to report today. First, a little bit more about Carol’s Little Freedom, the pony we featured yesterday. This beautiful little foal is from a very famous place: Chincoteague Virginia. Our good friend Carol who is one of our long time fans, even before TDB went on line as a blog, sends us pictures every year of the new baby ponies at Chincoteague. I am always so happy to see the ponies that have the same colors as me: white with tan spots. Hooray! Here’s a picture of me looking at the ponies in 2012.

And now Joey dog would like to say a few words about yum yums to our human in Boca Raton Florida, who is still suspicious about those double yolk eggs: for cripes sake, it’s just an egg! If you’re that paranoid about it, give it to Miss Charlee Puppy to eat! I'm certain she won't care at all if it looks like a skull!

And then , there's this:

Dear Miss Charlee Puppy,
I am very glad you also inherited some of Professor Braydie’s vast and wondrous alien squeaky toy collection. Please keep in mind that they may have strange and unworldly powers. However, don’t let Old Lane the Voodoo cat fool you into thinking they are mysteriously attracted to her and not you! Sincerely, Chester L. W. Spaniel, chairman of the Squeaky Party and alien squeaky toy researcher.

PS: if you ever need advice on how to dissect, catalog, and then store a squeaky toy, please refer to TDB 10-26-13 (Proper Squeaky Toy Management) 10-27-13 (More Squeaky Toy Theory and Discussion) and 5-1-14 (Review of Proper Squeaky Toy Procedures.)

And here's the last news item for today: Sammy Cat is retiring from working at the nursing home and is going to live with one of the Physical Therapists, where he will have a comfortable forever home. Thank you for all your good work Sammy, and good luck.

Have a great weekend everyone! 

Oh Deer!

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I’m your humble doggie host Chester L. W. Spaniel.

When my human went to work at the nursing home one afternoon at 2:30PM last week, she was surprised to see a whole herd of deer running around next to the parking lot. Here’s a picture of one of them. Wow! They sure are big! She says this is probably the local herd that hangs around in the small country town. They know they’re safe from hunters there. My human has a name for them: the Future Road Kill of America Club because of their tendency to jump right in front of moving vehicles. After work one night last winter, she had to come to a full stop because the herd was crossing the main road, headed towards the supermarket. They were completely unafraid of the bright parking lot lights. Perhaps they were going to visit the salad bar there for a midnight snack! 

And now it’s time for the Yum Yum report with DCI (Doggie Chief Inspector) Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel, founder of the Yum Yum Coalition.  Our humans just bought us a fifty pound bag of doggie food. Hooray!

(Keep in mind that Chester is just five pounds away from weighing exactly as much as this gigantic bag of doggie food.)

In other news, I have been saying for a long time that doggies love vegetables. Well, here is a great video of a couple of remarkable cocker spaniels being served dinner. Note their excellent manners and restraint. Such amazing food watching technique! You will see that they ate all their vegetables too! They were so cute that I included another one of their videos just so you can see how great cocker spaniels are as pets! Enjoy! 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt2lNUaagYo

 www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbMS5kANfYg&feature=youtu.be

This just in: more cocker spaniel videos! 

I think I'm in love! 

One more thing just in. Carol's Little Freedom. 

Hero Doggies, Speeches, Toxic Yum Yums, and Lilacs

Hello friends and doggies everywhere! This is The Daily Bone and I’m your well-informed doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel along with my guest commentator Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel.

We just received the June issue of the National Geographic magazine, and were pleasantly surprised. On the cover was a doggie! Not just any doggie, but a very brave and honorable doggie who served in the military in Afghanistan. In fact, there was an entire article featuring several of these heroic doggies and their trainers and handlers, and the dangerous situations they experienced.  Joey dog and I cannot imagine a more scary thing than a bomb, yet these doggies were sniffing them out and saving lives by doing so. What a great tribute for all of doggie-kind!

In other news, once again, I would like to recommend that my humans purchase a video camera so that they can record my speeches. I was making a good speech about squeaky toys yesterday and this is how it looked: 

bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark

bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark 

bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark

bloblebloblebloblebloblebloblebloblebloblebloble! 

I mean, seriously, how can I become a famous Squeaky Party representative if I look like that? 

And now Joey dog would like to present an important yum yum related public service announcement:

May I have your attention please. As Doggie Chief Inspector, Comestibles Division, and founder of the Yum Yum Coalition, it is my duty to keep you updated with vitally important doggie yum yum health and safety issues. It has been discovered that some types of doggie treats might contain substances that are unhealthy or even deadly to doggies! Below is a link to an article with the details of what these toxins might be and which treats to avoid. Fortunately our humans usually only buy us Milkbone Marro Treats because most other ones make my allergies flare up, and I get all itchy. I might also remind you that doggies love vegetables. In fact, Chester and I have a penchant for raw brussels sprouts, snap peas, broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots; and I might add, these are good for Chester's figure. Don't tell him I said that. 

toxic-jerky-treats-linked-to-more-than-1000-dog-deaths 

Oh, and due to our ghost writer working so many hours at the nursing home recently, we forgot to mention that the Lilac Festival had been going on all last week. This is a yearly week-long festival in Rochester NY—that’s why Rochester is called the Flower City—which features the wonderful lilac bushes at Highland Park, plus art, crafts, food, and music. It seems, though, that every year it rains for almost that entire week! This year was no exception. Despite the weather, people come from far and wide. Fortunately, we have our own lilac bush in our yard so we don’t have to travel anywhere to enjoy the flowers. 

Mud Wrestling

Hi there. This is The Daily Bone and I’m your undecided doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel.

As my diligent readers know, in 2012 I ran for president representing the Squeaky Party. My platform was the belief that everyone should have a squeaky toy, and that squeaky toys were the key to world peace. I didn’t win, mostly because the Squeaky Party was still in its infancy and I didn’t have the millions of dollars needed to run a political campaign these days.

I’ve since been following American politics and know that there are already a lot of people thinking about running for president in 2016. While they are all successful politicians, or professionals who would make good candidates, the PC police and the scandal mongers have already plastered them all with mud. Thus is the style of politics in this world of technology, where everything you say, write, email, share, and tweet, not to mention your entire life history, is subject to scrutiny, ridicule, and reproach. The character assassins working for your opponents are glad to attack you and your entire family and cast you all into infamy for the rest of your lives to make sure you never, ever run for office anywhere ever again. The election winner is rarely the one who is liked the most, rather the one who is hated the least. There is something terribly wrong with that. While I have no problem with a little mud—I get it on my feet all the time—I really don’t want to end up buried up to my eyeballs in it like this poor doggie pictured here.

I’ll still give running for president a lot of thought. This country could really use a president who can promote squeaky toys for peace and prosperity in this great country. Oh, and here’s a thought that occurred to me the last time I gazed at the fire hydrant across the street: use a fire hose to clean up all that mud and start over. 

it-might-just-look-like-a-puddle-of-mud-but-cops-noticed-something-that-had-them-jumping-in-immediately

Facebook?

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I’m your humble doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel.

I have been thinking about possibly getting my own facebook. I always look at my ghost writer’s facebook and see all kinds of weird, funny and amazing things. 

To this I comment: huh?

My dignified and erudite associate, Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel, Doggie Chief Inspector, comestibles division, says he should be on my facebook too.

Then he could answer important food-related questions, like this one: is a double yolk egg a bad omen? According to the Yum Yum Coalition Safe Yum Yums Directory, the answer is simple: no. It is a promise of potential yumminess. If you are still in doubt, just give the double yolk eggs to your nearest doggie! I assure you, doggies are not the least bit superstitious, especially when it comes to yum yums.

Here are some new friends I would only have known about through facebook:

Doozer from Columbus, Ohio.

Ratchet from Columbus, Ohio too. 

Cub from Skaneateles New York. 

I have also discovered that being fat isn’t so bad. There is an artist who loves to draw, and then share on facebook, jolly, rotund characters like these:

So to our new friend Molly in the UK, tell your human she should put you on an all-you-can-eat diet! Don’t worry. You will never look like Godzilla. You will only get cuter, like me. Visit Molly on the address below.

www.mollythewally.blogspot.com

Finally, here is one last item: a link to a report on dog kisses entitled, “How Dirty Are Your Dog’s Kisses?”

Pucker up!

how-dirty-are-your-dogs-kisses

So what do you think? Facebook or not?  

Not Enough Time

Hello. This is your humble doggie host Chester L. W. Spaniel reporting for The Daily Bone, along with my associate Joseph (Joey dog) Spaniel.

My ghost writer has been working a lot of hours at the nursing home lately so we haven't been able to keep up with our journalism. But don't worry. We're working on several interesting subjects, including food, funny pictures, sites, and videos, current events both local and world wide, politics, and, of course, squeaky toys. We also have some new friends to introduce, whom we're very excited about. Gotta run now!

See you soon!