Greetings friends and fans! This is The Daily Bone and I’m your friendly doggie commentator Chester L. W. Stephens.
It’s been a long time since we heard from our Florida correspondent Miss Charlee. So I called her up and asked her what’s new in Boca Raton. She quickly put together an excellent report.
Hello everybody! I’m your humble doggie reporter Miss Charlee. Welcome to my weird science geek home! You are probably wondering about the new banana in the house. Don’t worry. I’m still the top banana!
One of my humans had something called a cold. I have no idea how anyone could possibly be cold here in South Florida. Please refer to this diagram below.
The symptoms include stuffy nose, cough, lethargy, and lots of moping and groaning. Ironically, the human afflicted with this malady gets warmer, not colder. Perhaps a better name for this human illness would be viral misery syndrome. We doggies can’t catch it from our humans, thank goodness.
A strange creature appeared when the symptoms began. It looked like an elephant, and spewed water vapor out of its trunk thing. But it seemed to have a soothing effect on the afflicted human.
I offered a few of my toys to my human and it appeared to help a little bit. However, the best remedy for a human cold is time. It gets better eventually.
In other news, a weird alien creature called a jack-a-lope that usually sits quietly on a shelf, has moved. I believe this creature is from Professor Braydee Spiker’s collection of paranormal squeaky toys. Someday, Mr. Jack-a-lope, I’m going to chew on your pelt and gnaw on your antlers.
My human has been keeping busy manipulating prickly plants called cacti.
She’s also doing weird experiments in propagation of plants called succulents. Step one is to take a fully grown plant and break it into little pieces.
Step two is to put each piece on top of its own pile of dirt. It must be some kind of zombie science magic, but somehow each of the little plant pieces then grows until it forms another whole plant.
Step three is to put the new plants into special space pods. I’d better keep a close eye on these things. Pretty soon they’ll be taking over the entire house!
Finally, this lizard was spotted in our yard today. We thought it was an iguana, but later discovered it’s actually a brown basilisk. As you might have heard, Florida, especially near the Everglades, is swarming with lizards and snakes that have been released or escaped from captivity.
Thanks for watching the Florida edition of The Daily Bone! Now, without further ado, I shall deal with Mr. Banana Man.
That was very informative. Thank you Miss Charlee!