Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Agents of Evil

Good evening readers. This is The Daily Bone. I’m your doggie host Chester L. W. Stephens.

We have a grave concern today. For the past week, there have been crows hanging around the neighborhood. My esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens and I have noticed a pair of them sitting in the upper branches of the silver maple tree, cawing loudly. Sometimes they have some of their friends join them for some raucous ariel stunts. While this was amusing to watch, we couldn’t help but think about the problem the City of Rochester NY has with these birds. At night thousands of crows all head for the city to roost in gigantic, noisy flocks, socializing and pooping. We hope they aren’t planning to start a night club here! Joey dog and I will do our best to bark at them.

We also heard that they like to steal eggs and babies from other birds’ nests. Crazy Bird, the angry red cardinal, and his frenetic wife won’t be very happy about that. Neither will the battalion of sparrows in the arbor vitae bushes. The robins and grackles and mourning doves will be horrified. And the chickadees—oh no, not the chickadees!—chipping sparrows and house finches won’t be safe either! 



Meanwhile, the Evil Squirrel Cartel has been sneaking around everywhere. We have not seen any operatives from the CCC (Conniving Chipmunk Consortium) or the Bunny Militia yet. But we doggies have caught the scent of certain members of the Miscellaneous Mousie Mob. They have been foraging along the foundations of the house, under the bird feeder, and for some reason, under last years echinacea. 

This picture of me sticking my nose under the snow to find mousie tracks, is from yesterday.

Well, it sounds like Special Agent Joey and I have our work cut out for us! But homeland security is what we doggies are best at. Bring it on! 

In other news, the snow is melting fast. The yard is a great slushy mess right now full of puddles and mud. If this thaw keeps up, I will probably be jumping in and out of the bathtub several times tomorrow to wash the mud off my feet. I can’t wait! And that’s a memo. 


Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens here with some good advice. Just say NO to mud (and unnecessary baths!) 

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